


Grudges

by PleasantlyWeird



Category: Tom Hardy - Fandom, Warrior (2011)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-01-09
Updated: 2014-05-18
Packaged: 2018-01-08 01:57:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 14
Words: 33,996
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1127046
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PleasantlyWeird/pseuds/PleasantlyWeird
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Casey Kesterson remembers Tommy Conlon alright... that dirty bastard.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. One Night At Mullen's

Most nights at Mullen’s Bar and Grill are forgettable and utterly predictable. There are the usual loud disagreements, the occasional fistfights; hell, sometimes a bar wide brawl has been known to break out. But nothing truly memorable ever happened to Casey until that warm June night when her arch nemesis from high school walked through the door looking finer than a mother fucker. And of course he would walk right to her section and sit down.

But Tommy Conlon wasn’t just her old rival; he was also a local legend now. Runner up at Sparta, losing to his own brother in the final round. Some in the ‘burgh are convinced that it was fixed, that there is no way that Brendan Conlon could have won fair and square against Tommy, but Casey knew better. Tommy Conlon was an alpha male; his ego would never allow him to lose on purpose. He had always been the top dog, always had been undefeated and she couldn’t see that a few years between high school and Sparta would have changed a thing.

“Suze, do me a solid will ya?” Suzy, Casey’s best friend turns and eyes her suspiciously.

“Depends on what it is. If you’re gonna ask me to wait on Tommy Conlon then I’ll tell you right now it ain’t gonna happen. Stop bein’ such a pussy. Let go of the past and get the man a fuckin’ beer.”

“Suze, c’mon, I’m pluggin’. I’m not in the mood to socialize with that asshole.”

“First off, you’re a fuckin’ liar. We’ve been on the same cycle since we were 14 and I know I ain’t raggin’ right now. Secondly, you ain’t gotta socialize with him. Just go do your job.”

                Casey rolls her eyes and sticks her tongue out at her eternally right best friend before grabbing a tray and order pad off the bar. Straightening her shirt and shorts that suddenly feel far too tight and ludicrously too far up her thighs, she makes her way over to the booth where the asshole in question sits.

“Welcome to Mullen’s, what can I get ya?” Casey’s voice is purposefully light but devoid of the usual playfulness that she brings to the job. She discovered early on that flirting got her better tips and she was a natural at it. But with this piece of shit? Nah, isn’t happening…

Without even looking up he asks for a Jameson neat. His tone is low and irritated sounding; it matches her mood and Casey snorts derisively before she can stop herself.

“S’there a problem?” Tommy is glaring up at her now and gets a good at her face before she can turn away. “Holy shit, Casey Kesterson.” It was a statement more than a question. Or was it? The prick has the nerve to actually smile up at her as if he never made her middle school years and part of her Freshman year a living hell.

 “Yeah, that’s me, and you’re Tommy Conlon. I’ll be right back with your drink.” Casey scurries away from the table and back to the bar where Suzie has taken over for Rick so he can go and have a smoke out back.

“Jameson neat,” Casey barks out and her glare is meant to warn Suzie from any commentary but it doesn’t stop her, never had, never will.

“Honey, just so you know, he ‘bout broke his neck turning to watch you go.” Suzie winks salaciously at Casey and slides the tumbler to her. “Put the claws away and be nice, kitten. After all, he probably got a huge chunk of change from Brendan. Although I don’t think that’s the kind of tip he’d like to give ya.”

“Fuck that noise,” Casey growls and slides the drink on to her tray. “If you think he’s so hot, YOU fuck him,”

“Aww kitten, I’m just trying to get your puss played with sometime this century!” Suzie calls out loudly enough to draw jeers and a couple of offers from the regulars. Casey flips them all off and heads back to the festival of torture waiting in booth 9.

“Jameson neat,” is all she says as she slides the tumbler onto the table. As she turns to leave Tommy grabs her hand and stops her.

“Hey, why dontcha sit for a minute and catch up? It don’t look to busy in here. Take a load off.”

He actually has the audacity to wink at her. As if that’s enough to erase all the humiliation she suffered at the hands of this jerk off!

“I’d rather fuck myself with a chainsaw than spend one second in the booth across from you Conlon,” Casey spits at him. His face looks puzzled, clueless as to what the hell she’s going on about.

“What the fuck did I ever do to you?” He asks, his forehead wrinkled, his eyebrows furrowed over eyes that grow darker in color by the second.

“The fact that you’re clueless about it makes you even more of a prick!” Casey spins on her heels and stomps back towards the bar, “Pay Suzie when you’re done!” Getting closer to her friend she hisses under her breath, “And THAT is why I fucking wanted YOU to wait on him. Tell Rick I’m gone,” Casey says as she shoves all her money from her apron onto the bar. “Settle up for me and don’t give me any shit. You can bring my tips to my house after you get off as your way of telling me just how sorry you are.”

Five minutes later and Casey is in her car, roaring towards the suburbs and blasting In This Moment on her car stereo. If she’d been a smoker she’d have surely gone through half a pack already and she wasn’t close to home yet. Instead she’s chewed nearly a whole pack of Wrigley’s and bitten her tongue twice.

“Fucking asshole!” Casey screams and smacks her hands roughly into the steering wheels. Her mind was ablaze, she could think of a million fucking snappy retorts now, things that would have burned his ass so badly that she’d be on his mind for days. But more than anything, what was chapping her ass is the fact that she can’t stop thinking about him. He looked damned good and it pisses her off to no end that she noticed.

Some scars run deep and this one is to the bone. She’d been head over heels in love with Tommy Conlon back then and he’d used that against her once he’d found out. He’d been cruel; no fuck that, he’d been a sadist with her emotions and it’s something she would never forget. And let’s not forget her subsequent forays into emotional trauma, a.k.a. relationships. Especially Michael… Casey shivers and then crosses herself superstitiously. Speak of the devil and he just might fucking appear; restraining order be damned.

Pulling up in front of her house, Casey ends up with the right front tire up on the curb but she doesn’t care enough to fix it so there it stays. Grabbing her purse from the passenger’s seat she jumps out of the Grand National and slams the door. The hinges are rusty and the whole fucking thing sounds like it’s going to fall to pieces any day now. It’s not that she can’t afford a newer car; it’s just that she’s always told herself that one day she’d fix this hunk of shit up. It still runs like new thanks to a few mechanic friends, but it’s hope and duct tape holding the outside together at this point. But it was her daddy’s pride and joy and she can’t bring herself to junk it.

It seems that almost every house in the suburbs of Pittsburgh is built on a hill and therefore has a set of concrete steps leading to the front door. Casey’s house is no exception and she stumbles as she runs up the steps to the door. Keys in hand she has the right one in the lock and slams herself inside in record time.

It’s always like that when she comes home after dark. Somewhere between the first step and the fifth panic in its purest form sets in and she flees to the safety of her home, slamming the key into the lock and pressing herself against the inside of the heavy oak door once she’s in.

It’s a true victim’s panic; one gained from terrifying experiences and one that’s gotten worse now that Michael’s been released from prison. Get caught with some weed and you’re in prison for life; abuse your girlfriend for years and then beat your girlfriend within an inch of her life and get four years with time off for good behavior. She could only guess that it really had worked in his favor to be a Pittsburgh police officer. And then there was the whole PTSD theory that Michael’s lawyer had thrown around as if it made everything he’d done acceptable. It hadn’t been PTSD; it had been his use of a dizzying array of whatever drugs he could pilfer from evidence without getting caught.

The last Casey’d heard Michael had moved to somewhere in Iowa but she couldn’t see him staying there, He was a Pennsylvania boy through and through. She knew his parents were still only three neighborhoods away from this house and it terrified her. So every time she came home after dark she ran like a terrified child to her door and cried with relief when she made it inside safely. Except tonight; tonight she was so pissed at seeing Tommy Conlon that she didn’t cry. Instead she headed for the freezer and pulled out the mason jar of cherry moonshine a friend had sent to her from Tennessee. This wasn’t grain alcohol falsely labeled with the name moonshine, this was the real shit and Casey planned on using it to dull some emotions tonight.

Pouring some into a glass with a little orange juice to tame it, Casey leaves it on the counter and runs upstairs to change into some ridiculous sleep pants and one of Michael’s old white tank tops. She doesn’t hold on to it for the memory of him; it’s just incredibly comfortable and perfect for sleeping in. Feeling infinitely better in her comfort zone of home and sloppy sleep clothes she walked carefully down the wooden stairs. She’d taken more than one trip down these bitches head first, sometimes of her own klutzy accord and sometimes because Michael had thrown her down them in a rage. This house is full of bad memories but it’s also full of amazing ones.

Casey grewup in this house. The upstairs bedroom hallway holds many tick marks to chart how tall she was on every birthday. She’d spent nearly every night of her life in this house and she wasn’t going to sell it because of the things Michael had put her through. Heading to the kitchen she grabs her drink and downs it in two huge gulps. She hears faint knocking on the door and groans. Suzie has a fucking key and yet never fails to knock. As if she needs to. The knocking grows louder as Casey grabs the moonshine out of the freezer again and turns up the jar. If she doesn’t get more in now she won’t get a chance. She’s sure Suzie is going to straight up sermonize her for leaving like she did.

“JESUS CRIMINY!” Casey yells as the firewater burns all the way down to her belly. “Calm your tits, I’m coming!”

Stomping all the way to the door to prove her extreme displeasure, she yanks it open without looking. “God almighty, calm down you whore…” Her sentence is cut off as she realizes that it’s not Suzie standing there but instead Tommy Conlon and he’s wearing that cocky fucking smile again.

“Tha fuck,” Casey stammers, “What the hell are you doing here?”

Tommy holds out a neat wad of cash and motions for Casey to take it. “I bribed Suzie into telling me where you lived. Wasn’t too hard to remember since I’m about five streets over in my old house now. I remember being here in your basement once or twice.” He smiles and it reaches his eyes; the corners crinkle and his damned beautiful lips curl with the effort.

“What’s this for?”

“It’s your tips, Suze told me to bring ‘em to ya since I was headed this way. So here ya go, it’s all there, I promise.” He hands the money to Casey and then crosses his heart swiftly with one hand, smiling again.

Casey steps back from the door and moves to shut it in Tommy’s face. His hand shoots out and stops it from closing.

“’Scuse me but you mind tellin’ me where this animosity is comin’ from?” His brow is furrowed and he’s looking at Casey sideways.

“Oh act like you don’t know Conlon, for fucks sake. Now that I lost the braces and grew some tits I can have your attention? For real?” Casey is so pissed off she can feel her pulse in her teeth. She staggers back a little as the ‘shine starts affecting her balance. That shit was working quicker than she thought it would…

“I really have no idea what you’re so mad about Casey. I swear…” Tommy waves his free hand wildly to emphasize his confusion but Casey isn’t buying it.

“You don’t remember our freshman year when you pants-ed me in front of the whole auditorium before the pep rally? You’re a fuckin’ liar…”

Tommy rolls his eyes and lets go of the door. As he turns to go Casey starts to close the door but he spins back towards her and speaks again.

“First off, that was almost twenty fuckin’ years ago, and finally, it wasn’t even me that pulled your pants down, it was Teddy Quinton. I just happened to be the person who caught the fuckin’ blame for it.”

Casey felt the color drain from her face. Suzie had told her the same thing back then but then she’d thought she was being lied to. She’d thought her best friend was trying to save her feelings from being crushed. She’d been so sure that Tommy had been the one…

“Well, that’s not the only reason I’d have for being pissed at you and you know it!” Casey called down the steps after his retreating form. “What about how you dissed me in front of your friends on the bus, told me you’d never go out with me?” She was standing on her top step, calling down to him as he walked to his 1970 Chevelle parked in front of her Grand National. He turns and glares up at her.

“For fucks sake Casey! Almost TWENTY YEARS AGO!” Tommy throws up his hands and then looks at the front end of her car. “You’re on the fuckin’ curb for shitssake, don’t you know how to park, woman?”

“I’ll fix it in the morning!”

“You’re fuckin’ up your suspension!” Tommy yelled back. Casey watched with her mouth open as Tommy leaned down and grabbed the front bumper of the car. She gaped at the veins in his neck and the way that he seemed to effortlessly pick the heavy end of her car up and move it off of the curb. She can hear the rubber of the back tires as they pivot on the blacktop. He sits it down on the pavement and the shocks screech, sounding briefly like someone is getting it on in the back seat.

Tommy bows lowly to Casey and then walks to his car. “See ya ‘round Casey.”

“Not if I see you first!” Casey calls out as his engine starts and he revs it loudly. Walking back inside she slams the door and smiles. Damn, his engine sounded sexy.


	2. Rematch

Half a jar of moonshine later, Casey is shitfaced and getting angrier by the second. How _dare_ he come knocking on her fucking door like he never did anything wrong! How _DARE_ he have the audacity to smile at her and just expect her to fall cunt first onto his dick like he was some sorta rock star!

Casey is done with other people having the last word. She grabs her keys and heads out the door and then, even in her drunken stupor, realizes that she has no business driving so she heads back in the house and grabs a baseball cap and heads out in the direction of Tommy’s old house.

She’d been there several times as a kid. Her parents were close with his and they’d played together quite a bit back then during poker games. Then Paddy had gotten worse with his drinking and the visits to their house stopped. It’s funny; she’d always gotten along well with Tommy and Brendan until middle school. While Brendan had remained the same kind, sweet boy to her, Tommy had turned into a raging asshole. He’d made fun of her braces, made fun of her dirty blond hair, made fun of everything about her when there had been other kids around. But then that one night, in her basement, when his mother had come over crying and he’d trailed along…

Casey realizes that she still in her ridiculous sleep attire, no bra and shoeless. And she’s beginning to question why she’d felt it necessary to put on a ball cap but no shoes; then she realizes she doesn’t care about any of that. All she cares about is finding her way to Tommy’s house and giving him a piece of her ass… MIND, a piece of her mind. Where the fuck had that thought come from? And why was she thinking in Suzie’s voice?

Seeing the familiar sight of Paddy’s old rust colored sedan she knew that she was at the right place. That and the fact that Tommy’s Chevelle was parked right behind it. The sedan was covered in pollen and debris was gathered around the tires. It probably hadn’t been moved since the last time Paddy drove it and he’d been dead for nearly a year and a half now. She hadn’t gone to the funeral; Paddy wasn’t someone anyone here in the ‘burgh would mourn. He’d been a mean old drunk and had personally gotten on her eternal shit list when he’d showed up drunk to both her parent’s funerals. She’d lost her mom and dad within six months of each other; her mother to a heart attack and then her father to cancer.

Thinking better of the whole scenario she turns and decides to head home. Case knows she’s drunk, knows she’s spoiling for a fight and knows she’s dressed like a sloppy teenager. Now isn’t the time to settle this score.

“Whatchu doing here?” A voice calls out from the shadow covered steps.

Stopping in her tracks too quickly, Casey finds herself hitting her knees on the concrete sidewalk rather roughly. She hears Tommy jogging quickly down the concrete steps from his house and up to her side. He grabs Casey roughly under her arms and lifts her up like she weighs nothing.

“For fucks sake girl, you okay?”

Casey is pretty sure both her knees are bleeding but she can’t feel much; the ‘shine has her numb in every way except the way she intended. Her emotions are raw and on the outside of her skin at the moment. Pulling away from Tommy she says nothing but continues to limp in the direction of her house. Tommy walks behind her, his voice getting louder with each question.

“I asked you a question! Didja hurt yourself?” Tommy runs beside her and grabs her shoulder to make her stand still, “Would you stop? What tha fuck you doin’ outside my house at one in the morning?”

Casey spins and shoves a finger in his face, almost losing her balance again. “Wha tha FUCK YOU doin’ outside YOUR house at one in the mornin’?” Her words are slurred and her vision is blurry. There are two Tommy’s in front of her and she can’t decide which one she wants to slap first.

“It’s MY fuckin’ house! I sit outside on the stoop and have a drink sometimes and think about shit. Now tell me, what’s your business here? You come to key my car or somethin’?”

“Key your car? Are you fuckin’ kiddin’ me? As if…”

“Well if you won’t tell me then I guess I hafta assume you were plannin’ something nefarious. And please get your finger outta my face.” His voice has dropped to a lower octave and the sound scares her just enough to do what he asks.

Casey puts her hands on her hips and does her best to stand upright as she tries to remember why she came five streets over with no shoes on. She closes one eye so she doesn’t see double anymore. “I came here ta… um, I came here…” The world has started spinning and Casey stumbles forward, right into Tommy.

“Jesus Christ, you smell like a fuckin’ brewery. Whatchu been drinkin’?

“Moonshine… cherry ‘shine.” Casey stammers and then burps. “’Scuse me… I need to sit down…”

“Shit! Don’t sit in the middle of the street, damn… come on inside so I can look at your knees.” Casey glares at him, her look letting him know that she doesn’t trust him one bit.

“Look, look at your knees, you’re bleedin’.” Tommy’s points down at her pajama bottoms and the knees are indeed covered in blood. Casey’s head spins from the sight of it and she almost hits the ground again.

“Whoah, steady…” Tommy coos as he holds her up.

“You smell like whiskey.” Casey blares, wrinkling her nose, “And like cologne, whassit you’re wearing?”

“Just my deodorant, Casey. I’m surprised you can smell anything beyond your own alcohol breath. Come on, let’s get up the steps.”

“I was mad at you, I mean, I’m mad at you now.” Casey could remember that much but she’d be damned to explain what she was mad about right now.

“That’s okay, you can be mad at me, just let me get a look at your knees. ‘Kay?”

“Whatta you know about knees?” Casey asks, her legs refusing to complete the task that she needs them to. Suddenly she’s scooped up into Tommy’s arms and being carried up to his house. Something inside of her twinges and she looks at him. He’s staring at her eyes, concern written in his expression.

“I know some basic first aid from the Corps. How much did you have to drink?”

“A lil’, like two drinks…” she slurs and then hiccups as if on cue in some dumb play.

“Why is it always two?” Tommy laughs as he reaches the top step and uses his right hand to open the front door.

Walking to the kitchen, carefully maneuvering Casey past the door frame, Tommy sits her gently in the first wooden chair at the table. Smiling up at her he carefully pulls one pajama leg up and over her bleeding knee. A sharp intake of breath lets Casey know that it’s worse than what she’s feeling. The moonshine’s effect loosens a little as she realizes she’ll be hurting big time in a few hours but she’s still three sheets to the wind.

 Tommy stands and heads out of the kitchen, Casey sits and rests her head on the table top. She hears Tommy come back in and feels him lift the other pajama leg up and over her second bruised knee. She doesn’t look; she doesn’t want to face just how stupid she is. She feels Tommy gently washing the abrasions and then blowing on them to dry the skin around them before probably covering them with Band-Aids. Casey can’t resist peeping over her arm at his face. His expression is concern, his brow wrinkled with concentration and his mouth, oh fucking shit, his mouth. Those sensuously plump lips that belong on a twenty something supermodel, lips that some women pay big bucks for; they’re formed into a perfect circle to direct his whiskey scented breath onto her knees.

“Why you bein’ so nice to me Tommy?” Casey’s tone softens as she watches how carefully he applies the bandages. “I should tell you that I came over here to tell you what an infernal prick you are.”

“I have no reason not to be nice to you,” he chuckles and looks up at her from his crouched position. “You apparently have issues with me but I have none with you. Listen…” But he doesn’t get a chance to finish his sentence. Casey leans forward and kisses him, timidly at first, but bolder when she feels his tongue invade her mouth in response. The he abruptly pulls away.

“No, not now, not like this.” He laughs ruefully and stands up, backing away from her. Her traitorous body isn’t processing his rejection just yet, her center is aching and wet and her nipples stand out underneath the thin material of the tank top. She takes delight in seeing Tommy stare at her chest before looking away.

“What do you mean?” She asks standing and walking towards him, “Isn’t this exactly why you showed up at my house tonight? You didn’t come there to bring me my tips and you certainly didn’t come to save the suspension on my piece of shit car. You came to my house because you wanted to see if you could get it in.” She keeps walking towards Tommy and he keeps retreating with his hands out in front of him.

“What I mean is that you’ve had a lot to drink, a lot more than two drinks and it’s not right. I’d be taking advantage of the situation”

Casey goes from playful to pissed in two seconds. “Oh great, so you’re my daddy now? Jesus Christ! What is it with you men? I mean, do I really need another someone with a dick hanging to tell me what I need and don’t need? I guess you think so Cause I’m a stupid girl and I can’t make good decisions… Fuck this, I’m heading home. If you can’t provide some relief I have a battery operated option that won’t tell me no.” Her finger bounces off of his rock hard pectoral muscles and he doesn’t even flinch.

Tommy is blocking her way, refusing her passage to the front door, his expression is no longer soft and gentle, instead it’s virtually ravenous. Tommy’s hands shoot out and Casey finds herself pressed up against the wall with his mouth on her neck, his lips and tongue ravaging the skin there with exquisite torture. His breath is hot on her ear as he intones lowly, “You think some battery operated cock can do you better than me? I was tryin’ to be a gentleman but if all you want is fucked, well baby I can do that for ya, with pleasure.”

Casey moans as his hands make their way under her shirt and make contact with her hard nipples. She reaches between them and pulls the tank off completely and shivers when Tommy growls his approval. His mouth makes contact with the right and then the left, his tongue like satin as it lathes each one in turn. He presses his erection into her side and she reaches down to free it from his sweat pants. Using her bare foot to aid her fumbling hands she steps on the hanging material of the crotch and takes them down to the floor. Tommy steps out of them and kicks them to the side. He’s only wearing some black boxer briefs now and from what Casey can see they’re strained in the front. She gasps as he reaches down and rips the outer seam of her sleep pants on one side and then the other. They flutter to the floor, completely avoiding her wounded knees. Tommy smiles when he sees that she’s not wearing panties.

Tommy grabs Casey around the waist and lifts her up and she wraps her legs around him. They kiss as he carefully walks with her back into the kitchen. He sits her on the table and she cries out because the table top is cold on her ass.

“You okay?” Tommy asks through their kiss and Casey responds by pulling his underwear down. “I’ll take that as a yes.”

“You talk too much,” Casey murmurs as she fights him for dominance with her tongue. His hands are on either side of her face now, fingers long enough to entwine in her hair as he pulls her face to his own.

“Yeah, well since I was raised with manners, guess I better find something to put in there to shut me up,” he growls and then pushes Casey down onto the table. She cries out again as her bare skin makes contact with the wooden surface. Then she cries out because Tommy’s mouth has claimed her center. His lips are like pillowy torture as they surround her clit and suck it in slowly. She feels one finger slide inside of her and back out again. It’s been so long since someone touched her that way that she comes hard and fast. Tommy doesn’t give her a chance to breathe before he attacks again, this time hard and furiously. His fingers spread her folds so he can get at all the slick heat of her. Her hands find their way to his hair and press him hard into her.

“Fuck, Tommy, I …” But she can’t formulate a thought, let alone a sentence as he brings her to orgasm again. Her hips buck wildly of their own accord in the aftermath of her blindingly intense release. Tommy picks her up and carries her upstairs to his room. She can feel his girth slapping her in the ass as he climbs the stairs but she’s too far gone to laugh. All she can think about is his between her legs, pushing that beast inside of her.

Tommy lays her on the bed and grabs himself, closing his eyes. He doesn’t make a move, just stands there with his cock in his hand.

“What’s wrong?” Casey is concerned now; she waits for him to answer.

“Shhh, gimme just a minute. I, I just need a second to calm down or I’ll come too soon,” Tommy admits this in a near whisper, “I don’t want it to be over too quick…”

Casey lays back on the bed, looking at his body. He’s exactly the type she’s always gone for, he always had been. Maybe he hadn’t been THIS buff back in school but he’d always been built and athletic. He hand wanders lazily to her pussy and she doesn’t even realize she’s playing with herself while she’s looking at him; or that he’s watching her.

“That’s not helping one fucking bit,” Tommy says, breathing heavily.

“Just come here and get inside of me. Who says it only has to be one time tonight?”

Tommy lays down beside Casey on the bed and she gasps as the reality of his size sets in when the bed gives considerably. She pushes him onto his back and smiles as she gets a better look at what he’s working with. Sliding down his body she uses her mouth and tongue on his skin, leaving goose bumps in the wake of her licks and kisses. Facing his cock she opens her mouth and traces a lazy path around the head of it then works as much of him as she can into her mouth.

Tommy moans loudly and raises his arms above his head to grasp the wooden headboard; Casey swears she hears the wood crack in his hands. Cupping his balls with her hands she works her mouth up and down his shaft, feeling his legs tense up on either side of her. The muscles in his legs alone could probably break her in half. Feeling his balls tighten up and knowing that is a sign that he’s about to come, she releases him from her mouth. Crawling on top of him she whimpers as she settles on her knees; but nothing, not even the growing, itching pain there, is going to deny her the feeling of him inside of her. Pressing on his chest to give herself leverage she positions herself over him and slowly slides down around his cock. It’s no easy feat; she’s amazed that she can completely accommodate him. The feeling is intense; almost painful but delightfully so.

Casey watches his face as her body swallows and releases him. He’s pure concentration, his hands assisting her but not overtaking her actions; she’s leading this rodeo and he seems to content to let her.

“God, you’re fucking beautiful…” Casey smiles at him when the words come out but she knows that nothing said in the throes of passion mean a thing when they’re coming from a man; it’s cum talk. She closes her eyes and throws her head back, riding him harder and faster now.

“Slow down, I’m gonna come if you don’t…” But Casey doesn’t listen because she’s on the verge of another orgasm. She opens her eyes and smiles lustily down at him, bucking her hips forward, full of moonshine bravado and intensity.

“Well then I guess you’re gonna just have to come then,” she gasps as she feels the first waves of release. Her pussy contracts all around him, grasping and releasing until he cries out and pulls pieces of the headboard away, breaking it completely. His hands fling the wood to either side of the bed and pull her face to his. His mouth pours curses and kisses into hers as he thrusts up inside of her, releasing himself into her carelessly.

Casey falls forward onto him, smiling on the outside but feeling the first twinges of regret. She was now a woman with a total of three lovers and how did she end up here on top of Tommy Conlon? It was her last thought before her brain gave into the pull of an alcohol induced black out.


	3. Fight or Flight

“Oooouuuucccch.” The first thing Casey realizes is that her head feels like she’s being skull fucked by a chainsaw. The second thing she realizes as she cracks one bleary eye open is that she’s not in her own bed because her room isn’t this painted this bland shade of beige. The third thing she becomes aware of is that there is a warm body snoring lightly in the bed next to her. Slowly memories flood into her consciousness and she turns her head to see Tommy asleep, mouth open and drooling a tiny bit onto his pillow. It hadn’t been a dream; she’d fucked Tommy Conlon last night.

“Fuck,” she whispers and then freezes when Tommy closes his mouth and shifts in the bed. She’s terrified he’ll wake up before she can exit the room. Moving slowly and deliberately Casey slides out of the bed, feeling that tale-tell soreness in her parts. She’d been fucked proper last night, well truth be told she was the one who did the fucking.

Shame colors her face as she looks around for her clothes. Not remembering everything just yet, she quickly exits the bedroom and flees barefooted down the steps. Walking into the dining room she spies her sleep pants and picks them up. Her veins run icy as she views the tattered remnants of what she’s drunkenly made her way here wearing. Around that same time she feels the sharp pains in her wounded knees. Looking down she sees the Band Aids Tommy had applied and more memories invade her consciousness. He’d taken care of her last night… had she fucked him because she felt grateful for his help? What the fuck had she done to end up here? The details were blurry and he head was hurting like a mother fucker.

Remembering how it all started in the entryway she treads carefully in that direction and spies her tank top lying on the floor. Putting it on she then reaches down and grabs the sweat pants she’d helped Tommy shed there and pulls them on. They’re about four sizes too big but luckily they have a drawstring. Opening the front door and cringing when it screaks loudly, she’s out on the stoop and down the walkway steps as quickly as her injuries and soreness will allow.

It’s still early morning, the time between when the early risers have already gone to whatever the day holds for them and when the late sleepers rouse. She high steps on the night-chilled concrete, eyes to the ground as she does her best to avoid looking at the sunlight directly. It’s the ultimate walk of shame, it’s more than her stomach can take and about halfway home she stops behind a station wagon and pukes up everything on her stomach loudly. She hears a dog in a nearby house start barking and the sound barrels through her head like a freight train. Heading homeward she vows out loud to never drink another drop of moonshine… at least not until the sun goes down again.

Once reaching home she has enough energy to open the front door and make it to the couch. She falls face first onto the flowered cushions and is out again in seconds.

***********************************************************************************************************************************************************************************

She can faintly hear her phone ringing from somewhere in the distance and it makes the throbbing in her head intensify. Crawling on all fours to the kitchen where she had thrown her handbag on a kitchen chair last night she reaches into it blindly, feeling for her phone. Just as she goes to answer it the ringing stops and she moans loudly. Using the kitchen table to leverage herself onto her feet, Casey reaches into the fridge and grabs a bottle of water. Chugging it greedily, she finishes it off in seconds and sits heavily in a chair at the table. She looks out the kitchen window and sees that the sun is still up. Glancing down at her cell phone she notes the time and realizes she’s been out for about three hours.

Casey beats herself up mentally while perched precariously on the wooden seat. Sleeping with Tommy last night was the most dumb, ape-shit thing she could have allowed herself to do. Why wasn’t climbing into bed and turning on Mr. Buzzy what she’d settled on doing instead of throwing herself at some old crush? But goddamn, it had been good, and she didn’t think that was the moonshine talking last night. Everywhere his fingers, mouth or cock had touched her had been like wildfire. She’d never been so turned on and burning up like she had been last night. He fingers absently go to the side of her mouth as she remembers tasting his kiss and how soft his lips had been.

Standing slowly, Casey decides she needs a shower and mentally thanks the powers that be that she doesn’t have to worry about work tonight. Hearing her cell phone beep she picks it up again and dials her voicemail.

_“Yo bitch, this is your best friend callin’ to see how last night went. I’m sure you were pissed when that fine hunk of manmeat showed up on your stoop but I have a feeling you’re not pissed anymore. Anyway, call me when you get this message skankzilla. Bye”_

Casey laughs and ends the call. Suzie knows her better than anyone ever did or ever will. There are no secrets between them and she knows she’ll tell her everything eventually. Heading out of the kitchen, Casey has enough time to get halfway upstairs before the knocking starts. She freezes, unable to see the windows on the oak door but also unable to be seen.

“Casey, open up. It’s Tommy.”

Her mind is at war with her body and heart. She could pretend not to be awake but she couldn’t pretend that she isn’t home; her car is still out front. She sits slowly and quietly down on the stairs, hoping he’ll go away and she can save this embarrassing moment for another day.

“C’mon Casey, I know you’re in there, I saw your shadow on the wall.”

“Shit,” Casey mutters lowly, “I’ll be there in a sec,” she calls out louder and walks upstairs. Pulling off his sweatpants and the tank top she changes into an old Pittsburgh Penguins tee and some cut-off; she grabs his pants and heads back downstairs. Seeing her haggard reflection in a hall mirror, she puts his pants between her knees and runs her fingers through her hair in an attempt to calm her mane. Wiping old mascara from under her eyes, she sighs at the mess looking back at her and walks slowly to the front door.

Opening the door slightly and then peering around the side of it she hands the sweatpants out to him. The smell of manly body wash and cinnamon sweeps inside and she looks warily at him. He doesn’t look pissed; she can’t gauge what his emotions are in this moment and that doesn’t sit well with her.

“You gonna let me in?” He asks as he takes the dirty sweats from her hand.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea Tommy,” she says and hates the shaky sound of her voice. Why can’t he just be pissed off? If he’s pissed then she can be pissed too and being hella angry is much easier than feeling guilty.

“Why not?” There’s genuine shock in his voice, like he can’t comprehend why things would be awkward between them today.

“Tommy, take your pants and go. Please.”

“Are you fuckin’ joking right now?” His nostrils flare and his eyes narrow. “You come to my house and throw yourself at me and I’m the bad guy?”

“No one’s calling you a bad guy; I just… I have to get ready for work.”

“Bullshit. I know you don’t work tonight, Suzie told me. But whateva Casey. Have it your way.” He turns to go and Casey slowly shuts the door behind him. She bangs her head on the solid wood of the door and thinks to herself that she deserves all the pain she’s feeling right now; emotional and physical.

Sighing deeply Casey turns and heads for the steps. Slowly making her way up the steps she gets all the way to the top and to her bedroom door before the knocking starts again. She ignores it and makes her way to her side of the bed, deciding to forego a shower like she had planned; sleep is what will make her feel better, physically at least. Turning down the covers she see’s something on her pillow that makes her blood run cold. On a plain white piece of paper written in red ink in a horribly familiar scrawl are the words, ‘Where did you sleep last night little girl?’

Casey screams and stumbles back into the wall. She hears the beating at the front door increase and then stop. Suddenly the sound of breaking wood explodes throughout the house and Casey looks around frantically for a place to hide. It’s Michael, he’s come back to kill her like promised he would.

Panicky, Casey does the first thing that comes to her mind and tries to crawl underneath the bed. The hardwood floor rips at her bandaged knees, tearing the Band Aids off and opening the wounds as she tries to push her body up underneath the bed. She hears footsteps rapidly approaching and her heart feels like it’s going to burst out of her chest. Hands grab at her and pull her out from under the bed and flip her over. Casey screams and shields her face from the blows that she knows are coming.

“Please Michael! Please don’t hurt me!”

“Christ Casey, I’m not going to hurt you! It’s me, Tommy!”

Casey looks up and sees Tommy’s concerned face and immediately begins to sob uncontrollably.

“He was in here!” She wails as Tommy collects her off the floor and gathers her into his arms. Sitting down on the bed he holds her to his chest and rocks her.

“Shhh, calm down, ain’t nobody gonna hurtchu when I’m here. Calm down…”

Tommy smoothes her hair with one hand while holding her close with the other. He can feel Casey shaking in her panic and it sends a fiery rage through him. He starts looking around for signs that this mother fucker might still be here.

“Where did he go, Casey?” He asks, the calm tone of his voice hiding his anger. “Tell me where he went baby.”

“I … don’t know,” Casey hiccups, her voice full of fear, “I just saw the note,” she stammers and points towards the pillow.

Tommy reaches over and grabs the piece of paper, taking seconds to read it. His first instinct is to crumple it in his hand but he thinks better of it.

“Who’s Michael? Tell me who Michael is and why you’re so afraid of him.”

But Casey doesn’t answer; all she can do is cry into Tommy’s shirt as she realizes the nightmare’s begun all over again.


	4. Dashing and Dale's

Tommy has done a thorough check of the house and found no sign of anyone who might still be hiding inside. Making his way back to Casey he sits on the bed beside her and takes her hand. He’s not trying to be smarmy, he means to comfort her.

“So, does this guy still have keys?”

“No, I changed every lock when he, um, left.” Casey’s still crying but not as hard. Shock is setting in; Tommy’s seen it a million times before on the faces of fellow soldiers who’ve been through something horrific. God only knows what this asshole put Casey through to give her that expression.

“Babe, you don’t have to tell me the whole story if you don’t wanna, but some background on this guy might help.”

Casey shakes her head and smiles at Tommy sadly. “It’s better if you don’t get involved.”

“I think I’m already involved.”

“Okay, then it’s better if you don’t get MORE involved than you already are.”

“If you think I’m’a turn my back on this, forget it ever happened, you’re wrong. I saw how terrified you were when I came bustin’ in here…”

“Tommy, listen to me, there’s nothing you can do. Michael was a police officer here in the ‘burgh. He still has a lot of friends on the force and they’re not going to do a damned thing to stop him or to help me. The one cop who was willing to help put him away ended up dead not long after Michael’s sentencing. I don’t know for sure that it was foul play but it was a little too close for comfort. _The boys in blue are forever true_ ,” Casey sings and her voice drifts off. It was the threat Michael used to sing in her ear whenever she’d threatened to call the cops on him after his abuse.

“Come and stay with me then.”

                Casey immediately starts shaking her head but Tommy interrupts her.

“Listen, I ain’t talkin’ about being together like _that_ , there’s two extra bedrooms in the house. We’ll do it in a roundabout way so if you’re being tailed then this fucker won’t catch on. You **_could_** stay with Suzie but I’m sure he’ll know where she lives since you two are tight and have been for a long time. Plus, if you’re staying in my house that fucker ain’t gonna get near you. It’s just temporary until you figure things out.”

Casey feels abjectly empty; the only emotion that plays on repeat is fear. She’s terrified of the thought of being alone in this house and Michael showing up again. Casey’s pretty sure that he came here last night not to leave a note but to take her life. She knows that he’ll take the chance on killing her if he gets it; he’s told her so on many occasions and now that he’s been to prison and his career as a police officer is over he has nothing to lose anymore _. If I can’t have you, no fucking body will_. How many times had he said that to her?

Tommy was still going on and on about all the reasons she should come and stay at his house and she’d missed most of them. “… and seeing as how it’s not far from here I doubt he’d think to look for you there.”

“Okay. I’ll come stay at your house. But believe me when I tell you that there ain’t gonna be no fuckin’ around Tommy. Last night, no matter how fun it was at the time, was obviously a mistake.”

Tommy looks down at his hands and Casey can tell that he has something he wants to say. She doesn’t encourage him; she doesn’t want to hear it.

“Let me get some things together. I have couple weeks’ worth of vacation time coming up; I’ll call Rick and explain that I need to take it early. That’ll keep me off of his radar for a while.

“’Kay, I got my car outside. I think you should drive to somewhere in Philly and I’ll call Brendan and Tess to come and pick you up and drop you off at the subway They’ll take your car back to their place and keep it for you. I’ll drive to one of the train stations and pick you up there. He won’t be able to follow all of us and chances are he’ll come straight back here. Where’s your phone?”

Casey leads Tommy to the kitchen on shaky legs and hands her phone to him. He programs his number into it and hands it back. “Get your things; I’m going through the house one more time to make sure shit is secure.”

Tommy doesn’t know exactly what he’s looking for but he has that crazy feeling that something isn’t right. Walking back into the bedroom while Casey is getting her things from the master bath he hears a beeping sound coming from the TV cabinet. Waiting quietly he listens for it again; the beeping noise is coming from the very top. Grabbing the chair from Casey vanity he stands on it and peers over the top of the case. There’s a small digital voice recorder that he would have never known about if it hadn’t been beeping with a low battery.

Grabbing his own cell phone out of his pocket he dials a familiar number. “Yo Teddy, I have a job for you…”

 

 

The plan goes off without a hitch. Brendan and Tess meet up with Casey at a strip mall I Philly. Brendan drives her car back to their place and Tess drops her off at the train. She calls Tommy to meet her at the Waterworks Plaza station and he’s there waiting when she comes up the escalator.

“You doin’ ok?” He asks immediately and she can only nod. She’s been on autopilot since leaving the house this morning. She hadn’t been fond of leaving Teddy Quinton alone in her house. She had horrible images in her mind of him sniffing her underwear and trying on her bras. But Tommy swore that he was a stand-up guy now and that he would find any and all surveillance that Michael might have placed in the house. Jesus Christ, if Michael had gotten back into the house and retrieved that voice recorder he would have found out where she was hiding and he would have killed both her and Tommy. She feels doubt about involving him again and looks over at him behind the wheel of the Chevelle. Panic must be plain on her face because Tommy reaches a hand out to pat her leg.

“Everything’s gonna be fine. Don’t worry. I’ve known assholes like that my whole life and the main thing they get off on is fear. He wanted to hear your fear when you found the note. That’s why he put it up in your bedroom.”

“Tommy, I just, I’m worried about you getting mixed up in this shit. I don’t like the thought of you getting hurt because of me.”

“Ain’t nobody hurtin’ me OR you. Get it straight.” His voice sounds convinced but her stomach still shakes like she might be sick any minute.

Tommy reaches into his glove box and pulls out a Penguins cap. “Here, put this on, we’re stoppin’ at Dales for some food.”

Dale’s Diner was a local’s favorite, open twenty four hours and run by the man himself who is 80 if he is a day. Casey hasn’t been there in a while and her mouth starts watering immediately as she remembers how good the cheesesteaks are. It doesn’t seem like a place that Michael is likely to be so she relaxes slightly. Michael would think that a little place like this was beneath him. He’d always called her a hick for wanting to eat at similar places.

She pulls the cap down over her forehead and close to her brow. Glancing out of the corner of her eye she smiles as she sees Tommy bobbing in his seat to an old Montel Jordan song playing on the radio. His face is intense; he’s half mouthing the words as she chews on a toothpick, all the while bouncing slightly and nodding his head from side to side. _“This is how we do it…”_ Not at all what she imagined was the kind of music he’d like.

That damned toothpick has her thinking shit she shouldn’t be, especially at a time like this. All she can think of his how soft his lips had been, had his tongue had felt like velvet as it’d ran all over her…

“We’re here… hello?” Tommy’s waving his hand in front of her face while she’s sitting there with her mouth open and drooling over the memory of a mistake. “You okay? You were a million miles away just now.”

“Yeah, yeah I’m fine… just hungry.”

Walking into Dale’s was like taking a shower in hot grease. It was smelly, claustrophobically small and everything that was wonderful about flat grill cuisine. Settling into a corner booth they order from a perky waitress who wastes no time giving Tommy the business. She’s throwing everything in her arsenal at him; the bottom lip bite, the boobs squeezed together, the brushing his arm with her hand and finding everything he says soooo funny. Casey feels the stirring of annoyance and cringes inwardly when she can’t stop herself from blurting out, “Hey, think you could put your tits away and get us our fuckin’ drinks?” The waitress stares at her open-mouthed and then stomps away.

“Meow,” Tommy alliterates and makes a clawing motion in the air. It’s not funny.

“Sorry, I’m just not in the mood for blatant hussies.”

“Oh you don’t flirt with men when you’re workin’?”

“Not when they’re with a female, no.”

Tommy mercifully lets it drop and when the girl comes back with their drinks she’s all business and dirty looks.

“You’re probably gettin’ a sneezer you know,” Tommy teases after the girl takes their food order and leaves; he drinks his Coke in two gulps. Casey isn’t worried; she has a direct line of sight from her seat to the grill.

“I did that girl a big favor. She kept that shit up she woulda ended up getting’ jumped after work one night by a jealous woman.”

“Would you ever jump someone out of jealousy?”

Casey doesn’t know how to answer that. She’s never been in a relationship where the power was shifted that way. Michael has been her only real relationship and he’d always had all the power. She’d never felt jealous over him even though she is pretty sure he’d frequently fucked around on her. It just hadn’t been like that. But just now, that girl openly flirting with Tommy had bothered her.

“I’d never be in a relationship with someone who gave me a reason to feel that way,” Casey snaps and then drinks a little of the diet coke in front of her.

“Well, for what it’s worth, when I’m with someone, I’m with them and only them. And…,” He leans in and winks conspiratorially, “I don’t like little girls like that. I’m into grown women.”

Casey throws her straw wrapper at him and it’s not long before the food comes. The cheesesteak is even better than she remembers and they both finish eating quickly.

“Damn,” Tommy says and leans back into the booth, rubbing his belly, “Can’t eat many more of those if I’m gonna get back to fighting weight.”

“You’re still fighting?”

“I will be soon.”

“I just thought… I guess I thought you’d retired.” Casey says, her voice trailing off. _Assumptions are for idiots_ she hears her father say in her mind.

“Lemme guess, you’re one of those Pittsburgh conspiracy theorists that thinks Brendan and I split the purse.”

“Actually no, but I did think maybe he gave you some of it.”

“Nah, he offered to give me almost half but I turned it down. I didn’t win it, he did. He sent a huge chunk of it to my buddy’s widow on my behalf but I didn’t take a penny from him.”

This knowledge causes a twinge inside of Casey… not sure of what she’s feeling or if she wants to feel it she calls out to Dale and asks if he has some lemon meringue pie and knowing full well that he does.

“You bet’cher ass I do lady,” Dale calls out and sends two pieces over to them via the now openly bitchy waitress. Casey laughs derisively as the snotty little cunt slides the two plates onto the table and stomps away. Yeah, if the kitchen was in the back she’d have definitely been eating a sneezer.

“So what do you do for work? Since you know, you’re not a secret millionaire after all.” Casey doesn’t look Tommy in the face when she asks, choosing to study pushing the pie around on her plate.

“I mainly work for Colt Boyd, doing personal training and sparring with his up-and-comers. Sometimes I do construction on the side with a buddy of mine, but mainly Colt pays me to be in the gym since I’m popular round these parts since Sparta. Apparently I bring in a lot of business.”

“And what is your plan? To go back to fightin’ full time?”

“Is this some sorta interview?” Tommy drops his fork onto the table loudly and his voice is terse; she’s apparently crossed some imaginary line that he’s not comfortable with.

“Sorry, I won’t ask any more questions.” Casey huffs and pushes her largely untouched pie away. She looks through the window at the front of the diner, at life going on regardless of her drama and deliberately holds her stare there.

“Look, I’m sorry. But for someone who thinks fucking around with me was such a mistake you ask a lot of awful personal questions.” His voice takes a softer tone and he leans into her field of vision, forcing her to look at him. “Listen, you and me don’t really know each other anymore but I can’t believe that we’re so much different than the two kids who spent days on end playin’ together. And I can tell you that I have never stopped thinkin’ about that one night, in your basement. I know it was just a kiss but it was my first and it really meant somethin’ to me.”

“Then why did you turn into super jerk once we got to middle school?” Casey asks, her anger surfacing again in a hurry. Maybe it was a shitty thing but she couldn’t help the resentment and hurt she felt over the things he had said and the way he’d acted. Tommy leans his head against the wall and breaks his gaze, choosing to stare at the wall opposite him instead.

“Casey, I don’t know how much you remember about my father but growing up with him wasn’t a piece of cake. I don’t wanna dredge up details because Pops is dead and he can’t defend himself, not that he could if he was here right now anyway. But I was going through some shit, I was wrestling three times a normal schedule because Pops had me signed up for three different leagues at once and I had the weight of the world on my shoulders. You were always there and I knew how you felt about me. But I didn’t want you to know too much. I didn’t want you to see the ugly in my life so I pushed you away. It was a jerk thing to do and I went about it all wrong. I guess I just didn’t want to see you get hurt but I ended up hurting you anyway.” He turns his head and stares at her hard, his expression fierce. “But I swear to you I never meant to do anything to make you hate me as bad as you do. And it was Teddy who pants-ed you, not me. I’ll own up to every shitty thing I ever did to you and I’ll do my best to make them right but I swear to you it wasn’t me.”

Tommy jumps slightly and reaches into the front pocket of his grey hooded sweatshirt. “Speak of the devil… Yo, Teddy.”

Casey can hear Quinton’s deep voice on the other end of the line but can’t make out what he’s saying. She watches Tommy’s face, reads every nerve twitch, notices that his nostrils flare a lot and that it’s sexy (even though she’s loathe to admit that even to herself). He nods, which is silly because Teddy can’t see him. Tommy looks over at her and she feels like she’s been caught shoplifting. He winks salaciously and Casey blushes and then hates herself for letting him affect her this way.

“Auight Teddy. Thanks man, I’ll let her know,” Tommy closes his phone and tucks it back into his pocket. “So Teddy swept the whole house and didn’t find any more devices in there. He said the only thing that was on the tape was our convo since it was set to voice activation.”

“So we don’t know when he was in the house exactly?”

“Nah, Teddy said with that cheap shit recorder was something that people get from Walmart and there’s no time stamp or nothin’ like that so it’s hard to tell. But he’s gonna keep someone watchin’ the house so we can see if he comes back and what he does, if he does. He set up some pinhole cameras inside facing the front and back door and also in your bedroom. Unless he comes in armed with a sweeper he won’t know they’re there.”

“A sweeper?” Casey asks, sipping the last of her drink and digging in her purse for her wallet.

“An electronics sweeper. Something that detects anything electronic like voice recorders, video cameras or bugging devices.” Tommy coughs, reaching for his wallet.

“How do you know so much about this shit?”

“I work with Teddy every now and then when I have the time and he has a job he needs help on.” Tommy see’s Casey wrinkle her nose and he laughs, “Come on now, Teddy ain’t the same jerk he was in high school. He’s got a wife and two little boys; he’s a family man now.”

“It doesn’t quite seem fair.” Casey sniffs and throws down a five for the pissed off waitress even though the bitch never came back to refill their drinks again.

“What doesn’t?”

“That life went so well for him after what he did to me, made things so hard for me…” Casey is immediately embarrassed by her words, they sound childish and whiny to her own ears. She pops a piece of gum into her mouth to dam up the word vomit.

“Do you think the same thing about me?” Tommy’s looking down at his lap, chewing another toothpick that has magically appeared. That must be where the cinnamon smell is coming from.

“Has your life gone well for you Tommy?” Casey was asking questions again instead of giving the answer to his. She looks him in the eye and smiles, “No, I don’t think the same thing about you Tommy. Not anymore.”


	5. Close Quarters

For Casey, walking back into the Conlon house after the way she’d left earlier that morning was an exercise in swallowing her pride. She hadn’t wanted to get out of the Chevelle for many reasons; mainly being she didn’t want anyone to see her. People in this neighborhood knew Michael and all it would take was for him to start asking around and he’d be beating down Tommy’s front door. She’d stuffed her blonde mane up into the ball cap Tommy had loaned her and pulled it low before she’d exited the car.

Standing inside the entryway now, blushing after hearing the all too familiar screaking of the front door, Casey looks around and notes things she hadn’t been able to when she’d come in here drunk in the wee hours of the morning.

The furniture looks fairly new, it definitely had been updated since she’s been in here as a teen. The curtains didn’t look dusty so either Tommy was staying on top of the cleaning or he has someone coming in and doing it for him. Regardless, while she’s staying here she’ll take care of the bulk of it. She’d been taking care of business on her cell phone since they’d left Dales.

Casey had called Suzie and Rick, telling them both that she’d been invited to on an impromptu trip to the Pocono’s and had decided to take it. Casey hadn’t taken a single day of vacation in the eight years she’d worked at Mullen’s and she’d known it wasn’t going to be a problem. Suzie hadn’t bought it and Casey had known it. But she’d written a quick note and mailed it with a fake name and return address. Suzie would know from the envelope that it was her and  the letter inside had explained the basics but had given zero details, just in case.

“You can take the master bedroom. It’s not been slept in since Pops passed away, I bought a new bed for it.” Tommy looks away, she’s sure he’s fighting some emotion he doesn’t want her to see, “I just don’t feel right sleepin’ in there. So yeah, I’ll get some clean sheets out for ya. I don’t have a lot o’ food in the place but I can run out and fix that here in a bit. I usually eat out but I need to quit that.”

“I’ll pay for half the groceries… while I’m here. And since I won’t be going much of anywhere I’ll clean up and do whatever needs to be done.”

“Can you cook?” Tommy sort of blurts it out and Casey can’t help but to smile at him.

“Sounds like someone might be tired of eating take out.”

Tommy’s stomach growls as if on cue and he smiles ruefully. “I can’t even tell you the things I’d do for a good home cooked meal.”

Casey’s mind immediately goes south and she physically shakes it off. She knows what she’d LIKE for him to do in exchange. Her face turns red and she tries to find some way of diverting his gaze.

“You auight?”

“Yeah, I’m good. I just, I feel gross, and I need a shower.”

“Well your room has its own bathroom but I can’t say there’s soap or shampoo in there. I’ll have to get you some shit paper… I mean toilet paper outta the hall closet.”

Was Tommy Conlon trying to be on his best behavior for her? She laughs and says loudly, “Yeah, and remember that us girls use three times as much shit paper as you dudes do. And don’t worry about soap and shampoo, I brought mine.”

“Top of the steps then left, that’s your room. And Teddy’s wife met up with him at your house and packed some more of your things for you. I figured you’d be better with her doing it than him and that she’d probably know more of what you’d need than he would. It should be upstairs on the bed by now. Don’t worry; they went a roundabout way to get it here.”

Casey bounds up the steps and walks into the bedroom she’s been assigned. The bed is definitely new as is the rest of the furniture. It’s as if Tommy has removed anything that would remind him of his past, of his parents. The walls have been painted the same shade of beige that had been in the bedroom she’d woken up in this morning. The suitcase is waiting for her as promised and Casey wastes no time unpacking. The drawers of the bureau, the bedside table and the entire closet are empty, save for a few boxes on the top closet shelf and empty hangers. Casey unpacks the bag of things she’d thrown together quickly and organizes things the way she would have them at home, including placing her vibrator in the bedside table drawer wrapped in a small hand towel. Unzipping the suitcase that had been packed for her the first thing she sees is just about every piece of lingerie she owned.

“What the fu…”

“You getting on ok?” Casey throws the suitcase closed and spins around like she’s hiding a dead body in it. Tommy’s standing in the doorway with a clean set of sheets for the bed.

“Yeah, I’m good.” Casey stammers.

“Gimme a yell when you get unpacked and I’ll help you make the bed up.” Casey starts to protest that she can make the bed herself but Tommy walks away with the sheets, muttering about some new comforter he had for the bed.

Opening the suitcase again and grabbing all of the lingerie in her hands she throws them into a top drawer and slams it shut. Relieved to have it out of sight she makes quick work of unpacking the rest. Casey has to admit that she’s thankful Teddy’s wife had done this for her. She hadn’t packed near enough underwear or socks and had neglected her make up entirely as well as her hair dryer and brushes. She’d been too busy looking for that box of L’oreal and her hair cutting shears.

“Um, Tommy, I’m ready for those sheets,” she calls out the open door and he appears quickly, this time also carrying a sage green comforter still in the plastic zipper bag , some towels and washcloths and three rolls of toilet paper.

“I bought this cause I thought it matched the paint but it prob’ly don’t,” he says as he hands the bathroom supplies to her and unzips the comforter bag.

“I think it’ll look nice,” Casey offers and together they make the bed in no time.

Standing back and admiring their work, Tommy laughs. “I guess it’s kinda girly looking. It didn’t seem that feminine in the bag.” Tommy walks to the bedside table and fumbles with the alarm clock that’s blinking the wrong time. Terrified he’ll open the drawer and see her b.o.b. she distracts him.

“Hey,” Casey says and claps her hands together, “I’m overdue for a shower. You decide what you want me to cook for dinner and I’ll make whatever. Don’t be expecting a turkey or some shit like that because we don’t have time tonight. But if you want me to cook one this weekend for you I will.”

“Can you make beef and noodles?”

“You mean Pennsylvania Dutch style with sour cream and mushrooms?” Casey asks as she grabs her toiletry bag. Tommy nods and smiles crookedly. “I’d have been kicked out of the state by now if I couldn’t. Let me write you a list of what I need. I’ll clean up while you run to the store.

Reaching into her purse she grabs a Mullen’s order pad that she’s accidentally brought home with her one night and her Adventure Time ink pen. Tommy eyes the colorful pen incredulously. “What? It’s the best cartoon ever!” Casey protests and scribbles out a small list. “And hey, don’t buy store brand sour cream, it’s not worth the 25 cents you save.”

Tommy laughs and nods as he takes the list from her. He scans over it quickly and nods. “Want anything for dessert?”

Casey swallows hard and shakes her head no, “Not unless you uh, want me to make a banana pudding or something.”

“Banana pudding? I don’t think I’ve ever had that.”

“It’s a southern thing, you know my mom was from Tennessee and she brought a lot of those southern dishes with her and learned how to cook Pennsylvania Dutch.”

Tommy hands the list back to her and she scribbles a few more ingredients. “You have milk?” She asks and writes that down too when Tommy says no. “Alright, off with you.”

Hearing Tommy close and lock the front door, Casey sighs heavily. She’s not exactly happy with what she’s about to do but she thinks it’s necessary and about time. Reaching into the last bag she has to unpack she pulls out the shears and the box of hair color. She’s gone darker blonde before but never black. And her hair has been below he shoulders in length for years now. But if she’s going to stay under Michaels radar until she can figure out how to shake him altogether this is the kick she needs.

Grabbing the towels and other supplies from the bedroom she shuts the bathroom door behind her. Although she’d graduated from cosmetology school right after high school she’d never chosen it as a profession. She often cut her friends hair to stay in practice and she had always cut her own. Casey looks in the mirror and pulls her long honey colored hair back into a pony tail, takes a deep breath and cuts right at the base of her neck. Tearing up as she looks down at the long hank of hair, she says goodbye to a part of herself that she should have let go of long ago. Michael had always told her that he’d _‘beat her fucking ass’_ if she ever cut her hair off and a part of her had always been too scared to, even after he’d been in prison for a while.

Deciding that she’ll donate the hair to locks of love, she shores herself up emotionally, taking her time to even out the bob cut and giving herself a cute side part. Satisfied with her style, she opens the midnight black hair color and mixes it in the flimsy plastic bottle.

Fifty minutes later Casey is in the shower and washing the dye out. She’s always hated the smell of chemicals so she washes her hair four times before applying the conditioner included in the box. Making sure that the water is running clear she quickly washes the rest of herself and shaves her legs.

Stepping out of the shower she wraps up in a towel and dries her hair without looking at her reflection. In the end, she waits til she’s dried and dressed before she looks in the mirror. The effect when she does is stunning. The new black hair color makes her eyes three shades greener and the cut has taken years off of her face. Casey had been afraid the color would age her or make her look like one of those emo kids in the mall but because she’d always had dark eyebrows it looks natural on her. She honestly doesn’t look like herself anymore.

Casey had been careful to pack only boyish looking clothes but Teddy’s wife hadn’t. In the end, comfort wins out for Casey and she dresses in a modest pair of pajama shorts and a Panama Jack tee. Although she normally doesn’t wear a bra around the house she slips on one of her sports bras. Sliding into her house slippers she heads out of her room. Passing the next room over she realizes its Tommy’s and its where the two of them had done the deed last night. Casey doesn’t enter the room but she looks curiously inside from the hallway.

There really isn’t much inside from what she can see; a bed, some clothes in a pile in the corner, a dresser, a chair, and a small bedside table. Hearing the front door open she backs guiltily from the door and heads down the steps.

Tommy is in the kitchen unloaded groceries when she gets to the bottom. He hears her approach but doesn’t look up while he puts things away.

“I also got some eggs and bacon for breakfast; just enough to get us by for a couple days and then maybe next time you can go with me. We can shop somewhere outside the city limits to avoid you getting’ seen. Hope wheat toast is okay witchu…” Tommy’s voice trails off as he finally looks at Casey standing in the doorway. Her hand goes to her hair self-consciously as he stares at her.

“I know it’s drastic but it’s something I’ve been thinking about doin’ for a while,” Casey stutters and feels foolish for trying to justify herself.

“Do you like it?” Tommy questions as he puts away the milk.

“Yeah.”

“That’s all that matters. Imma run and grab a quick shower, do you need me to help with anything before I do?” Tommy looks completely out of place in the small kitchen; his shoulders are almost as wide as the space between the appliances and the countertops. She probably wouldn’t get much done with him in there so she shoo’s him off and sets to working on dinner. The recipe is one that her mother had made a thousand times because it had been a favorite of both her and her father. Casey is pleased to see that Tommy even bought the same kind of paprika her mother had always used. After slicing up a loaf of boule bread she’d found on the counter, she digs through the cabinets until she finds the dinnerware and sets the table for two while the beef is browning.

The food is almost done by the time Tommy emerges from upstairs. He breathes in deeply and smiles at Casey as she stirs the sour cream sauce into the egg noodle, mushroom and beef mixture.

“That smells amazing,” he says as he grabs a beer from the fridge. “You want one?” He asks, lifting the bottle at her.

“Yes please,” Casey calls over her back as she pours the casserole into a large bowl and takes it to the table. She hears Tommy twisting the lids off of both beers and can feel the heat off of him as he slides behind her to the chair opposite hers.

Sitting down he looks at the bowl of food like a man who hasn’t eaten in a week.

“Do you, uh, wanna say a prayer or somethin’?”

Casey is taken aback but in a good way. “Nah, I don’t really… pray,” she admits, feeling like a heel.

“Me neither,” Tommy says, nearly whispering. He grabs the spoon and reaches his hand out for Casey’s plate to serve her first. The gesture isn’t lost on her. It’s the same thing her father had always done. She hands it to him and smiles as he piles on more that she will ever eat.

“That’s enough!” She’s laughing and all the cares of earlier seem so far away in this moment of normalcy. Tommy piles twice as much onto his own plate and Casey does her best not to stare but isn’t successful. He gives her a look as if to ask what she’s looking at and then wastes no time digging in.

Casey finds that Tommy enjoys her food in a manner that Michael never did. Tommy smiles and closes his eyes every few bites, like it’s the best thing he’s ever had. Michael always preferred dining out at places that he felt were befitting their status as a police officer and his partner. She had never been able to please him with the simple dishes that she’d learned how to make from her parents. Casey had felt pressured into taking all those fancy cooking classes at the local adult education center and hadn’t made a single thing they’d shown her since she’d split with Michael.

After dinner, Tommy insists that he help with clean up so here they are, squeezed into that tight kitchen and every time Tommy brushes against her she feels herself getting more damp between her legs. She gets whiffs of his body wash and deodorant, and then she smells _him_ , that earthy, woodsy scent that is uniquely his. It’s more tantalizing than any cologne could ever be. She tells herself that this sexual attraction is just because it had been a couple years since she’d had sex with someone else but she knows that’s a lie. The sex with Tommy had been probably, no fuck that, HAD been the best she’d ever had. He’d wanted to make sure she’d been satisfied before thinking about his own pleasure. That was something Casey had never experienced. It had also been her first foray into having a man go down on her.

Casey clasps her knees together and throws the dishrag into the sink. Tommy closes the cabinet he’s just put the plates into and Casey watches as his nostrils flare. Is it possible that he can smell just how fucking aroused she is right now? Casey cringes and grasps the counter.

“Goodnight Tommy,” Casey gasps as he turns his body towards her and she sees that he’s erect and straining the front of his pants. She runs up the stairs and closes the bedroom door and thanks the powers that be that she’d decided to bring her vibrator with her.

Grabbing it from the bedside table she turns it on and the sound of it is too loud, it echoes through the undecorated room. If Tommy comes upstairs he’ll hear it, even if she goes into the bathroom. Lying back on the bed, she slides a hand down inside of her shorts and quickly finds her way to the hard bundle of nerves, the center of all her aching want. Her eyes close as she remembers how soft his lips and tongue had been on her pussy. Moaning out loud, her fingers go into overdrive and she can feel her skin get goose bumps. Thinking of Tommy’s face down there is going to have her coming in no time. She rolls over onto her stomach and presses her hips down hard onto her fingers and the mattress, imagines that she’s riding him like she did last night and that’s all it takes to send her into the manic frenzy of release.

“Tommy!” She pants, her hand finally stilled as her body contracts rhythmically. She falls asleep like that, not conscious enough to take her hand out of her pants or to crawl underneath the covers. Outside her door Tommy listens as her breathing evens out and he’s sure that she’s okay. He’d followed Casey upstairs thinking she was sick and had been driven insane by the sounds of her playing with herself. The kicker had been when she’d said his name. He’d gotten even harder than he had been in the kitchen and had almost shot off in his pants. Cracking the door slightly he sees her on the bed face down and sees that she still has her hand in her pants. He smiles and closes the door slightly.

He knows she wants him as bad as he wants her but he’s never been the guy that has to come on strong and he’s not about to start now. If she ever gets around to admitting that she’s feeling him then he’ll be there, until then she’s off limits. She’s been through some bad, traumatic shit and he’s not gonna do anything to add to it. Heading to his room he reaches under the bed and drags out the 60 lb. barbells. If he stays this sexually frustrated he’ll be back in fighting shape in no fuckin’ time.


	6. Jealousy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To all the people who stand by me and wait for me to write this, I thank you. To all the petty people, Fuck you. You know who you are.

It’s been a three days since Casey has even set a foot outside and she’s going stir crazy. Paranoia has kept her from doing much of anything, even going near a window. A Jehovah’s Witness had knocked on the front door the day before and she’d almost died of fright. She hadn’t felt safe until she opened the door and saw the copy of the Watchtower lying in front of the door. It is becoming downright depressing and Casey knows that she’ll have to get out soon.

Tommy had invited her to sit and watch TV with him the last two nights after dinner but she’d declined both times, giving the excuse that she was tired or needed to catch up on her reading. Truth be told, she knew that if she sat on the couch next to Tommy she’d end up with his dick inside of one or more of her orifices because she craves him, because it’s all she’s been thinking about since moving in here. Casey has found that if she goes into the bathroom and stuffs a towel under the door it keeps the sound of her vibrator from traveling through the upstairs and she’s already just about out of AA batteries.

Sex with Michael had been a chore at the end; something she had to do to keep him relatively docile. It had been very mechanical and more often than not it didn’t involve any actual pleasure for her; Michael didn’t give a shit if she came or not. He didn’t care if she was in the mood and he never let her control the situation. It was missionary position mostly and every now and then he’d take her from behind. That usually happened when he was pissed at her or had smacked her around and didn’t want to have to see her face.

But Tommy on the other hand… Jesus Christ, he’d been the polar opposite and her body yearned to experience what he could give her again. Her mind wanted no part in it; she couldn’t let go of how cruel he had been to her years ago and wasn’t entirely sure that she bought his official explanation of why he’d acted that way. Casey knew she was being a baby about the whole thing and yeah, it was many years in the past but he had really hurt her. Not in the way that Michael the girl-puncher had, but it still stings nonetheless.

Tommy will be home any time now and Casey has prepared chicken fried steak, mashed potatoes with gravy and homemade mac and cheese. It was a favorite meal her mother used to make; southern comfort food in the extreme. It was the last of what she had to cook and she was creepily excited about the thought of grocery shopping.

She’d been to the basement earlier to do laundry and had discovered there was a nice little gym set up down there, just the basics, and she had wondered aloud to the empty house if there was some way they could manage to get her elliptical here unnoticed. Remembering that she needs to put the load of clothes in the dryer she heads downstairs.

Glancing to her right at the bottom the steps she notices a door that she hadn’t before. Feeling guilty but apparently not guilty enough she opens it slowly. Not sure what to expect she looks in and flips the light switch just inside the room. Inside are haphazard piles of stuff that she’s sure belonged to Paddy. Family pictures, musty smelling clothes, a hoard of miscellany. On top of one of the piles is a rolled up poster board. Grabbing it she unrolls it and reads; yeah, Casey remembers this whole thing from middle school and high school. Tommy had a thing about winning more matches than Theogenes and apparently this had been his way of keeping track. His juvenile handwriting and artistic skills on the poster make Casey laugh.

Casey grins to herself, remembering Tommy the way he was before he’d changed. He’d been the sweetest kid, had always held her hand whenever they’d been together. And that night in her basement… He’d been so upset over something his dad had done to his mother and Casey had been holding him as he cried like his heart was shattering. He’d sworn to her that he would never treat a woman that way and had looked at her with his huge eyes. Then he’d leaned in and kissed her and it had been the first of many things. It had been the first time her lips had been kissed, the first time her heart had skipped a beat for someone else and the first time she had ever been turned on.

Casey had been so confused when Tommy left with his mother that night. She’d lain in her bed and wondered about how Tommy’s kiss had started a fire in her underpants. For years afterwards she’d thought about that night and masturbated with Tommy Conlon in her mind’s eye. It wasn’t until her senior year of high school that she’d had sex for the first time with Cameron Moore. He’d been a fumbling idiot and had come in less than a minute; he’d never admitted it but she was pretty sure that even though he’d been a popular football player it had been his first time too. There had never been a repeat performance and Casey had always wished it had been Tommy who had been her first.

“Casey, you here?” Tommy calls down to the basement. Casey cringes and slowly backs out of the room and closes the door quietly. She feels ashamed that she’d been snooping and getting into things that Tommy obviously wants hidden away down here.

“Yeah, just putting some clothes in the dryer. Dinner’s ready, I’ll put it on the table in a minute.”

Grabbing the clothes out of the washer and throwing them into the dryer doesn’t take long and soon she’s upstairs watching Tommy devour her hard work. She’d finally made the banana pudding she promised him on the first night and she laughs when he tries it and his eyes roll back in his head.

“How have I lived my life without this in it? Is there any more?”

Casey takes her napkin and swipes at a smear of vanilla wafer at the corner of his mouth before thinking. It’s such an intimate gesture and Tommy smiles at her and then she suddenly finds her empty plate fascinating.

“Whatchu think about going out tonight? Somewhere outside the ‘burgh? I know you gotta be going insane cooped up in here all the time. And you look so different with ya hair cut short and darker...” Tommy sounds unsure that she’ll agree but Casey puts an end to that quickly

“Oh my fucking god I would love that…” Casey shrieks and pounces on the chance. “I’ll go get changed.”

“No rush, I still need to shower and all.” Tommy laughs, caught up in her excitement.

Casey snorts and looks at him sideways, “You’ll have time to shower, shit, shave **_and_** clean up the dinner dishes before I’m done. And yes, that’s a hint about the dishes.” She cackles and bounds up the stairs, excitement pulsing though her like the beat of the dance music she’s already anticipating hearing. How amazing will it be to get out in the midst of a club full of people and just shake her ass like she hasn’t a care in the world?

Perusing her meager clothing choices she’s pleased to remember that Teddy’s wife had grabbed her favorite off the shoulder red blouse that would pair just fine with some jeans and the cute black and silver sandals she’d grabbed last minute. She didn’t need to shower so she did her toenails first with the red polish she’d asked Tommy to buy.

It had been an exercise she’d been practicing for the past two days, to see if there was anything she could try to get him to buy that he wouldn’t. Every day on the way from the gym, Tommy would call her cell and ask her if she needed anything. The first time she’d told him Vogue magazine and Pamprin. He’d brought both home for her. Today it had been nail polish and she’d been tempted to see if he would buy tampons even though she didn’t need them. In the end she’d only asked for red polish and he’d brought home fire engine red; it was perfect.

Casey does her make-up while her toenails dry. She’s never worn heavy face paint but tonight she takes extra care with her eyes. They look much greener now that her hair is black and that means she can get away with darker eye shadow colors. She tells herself that it’s just the excitement of going out and not that she’s trying to impress Tommy. I mean, that would be stupid, right? Because they aren’t together like that so why would she care if he thinks she looks nice or not.

Tommy is finishing up the dishes by the time Casey is ready and walks into the kitchen. They stare at each other, neither saying a word for a few awkward minutes. Casey can’t believe how amazing Tommy looks in his going-out get up; he’s wearing a black tee that shows every muscle, and blue jeans that might look indecent on a lesser built man but somehow look like they were made to mold to his ass. His hair actually has some sort of product in it, it’s wet looking and perfectly tousled. His mouth is curved into a half smile as he takes her him and sees her staring.

“You look great,” Tommy offers, almost shyly. His eyes linger on her chest and she looks down self-consciously before realizing that he’s just a guy looking where most guys do.

“You do too… so you ready to head out?”

 

Five minutes later and they’re out the door and flying to the outskirts. Tommy has the windows down and Casey has her head back on the seat enjoying the feel of the wind in her hair and the music Tommy’s blaring on the radio. Ice Cube’s _Put Your Back In To It_ has the car mirrors vibrating and has her ready to shake her ass all night long.

“So where we going?” Casey screams over the music and Tommy turns to her and half smiles.

“Well, I’d planned on takin’ you to Kelly’s in New Kensington but I don’t think it’s a good idea with how you’re dressed.”

Casey can feel her blood pressure rise, “What’s wrong with the way I’m dressed?” She asks through gritted teeth.

“Baby there ain’t a damned thing wrong witchu or how you look. It’s just that Kelly’s is a bar and when you came downstairs wearing that I figured you wanted to dance. So we’re gonna go a few blocks further over to Remedy’s. They have a dance floor and a DJ.”

Casey relaxes and leans her head back again as Adrenalize comes through the speakers.

“No fucking way!” She screams and claps her hands, “I didn’t even know anyone else around here knew this band!”

Tommy turns the radio down slightly so they don’t have to yell and laughs. “Are you kidding me? Have you seen the rack on the lead singer?”

Casey leans across the seat between them and punches him soundly in the shoulder. He immediately looks down her shirt and she punches him again before sitting upright in the seat and pressing her shirt to her chest. She glares at him but smiles despite herself. “Didja get a good look?”

“Not really, could you lean over here and punch me again?” Tommy asks, deadpan.

Casey cracks up and turns the radio back up and music fills the space between them until they reach Remedy’s. Tommy parks and they head towards the line waiting to get in. Casey can already hear the bass from the music pulsating and she shrieks and throws her hands up. This is like Christmas, New Years and her birthday all rolled into one night.

Thrilled at getting carded for entry she grabs Tommy by the hand and runs to the bar. “What are we drinkin’?” she yells at him over Daft Punk playing so loudly that it vibrates her boobs.

“Whatever you want,” Tommy yells back and gives her a smile. He’s enjoying seeing her relaxed and in a good mood. The tension in the house the past two days has been thick and he knows it hasn’t been easy for her. Her smile says it all and he’s happy to be a part of the reason it’s there on her face.

“Four tequila double shots,” she yells and slaps her money down on the counter. She glares at him when he starts to try and pay for the drinks. Handing two to Tommy she smiles and turns one of her own up.

“What, no salt or lime?”

“Tommy, I’m a Pittsburgh gal, we don’t need all that silly shit. Drink up.” Casey tosses her second double shot back and grimaces. “Whoo!” She yells and heads to the dance floor with her hands in the air. She knows Tommy doesn’t dance so she doesn’t ask; she doesn’t need a partner. Song after song plays, all high energy, all making her euphoric in the way they encourage her body to exert itself. All the while Tommy is waiting at the bar when she needs another drink. He cuts her off the doubles and himself off entirely midway through the night since he’ll have to drive them home; New Kensington isn’t exactly a stone’s throw from the Conlon house.

Three hours into the evening, Casey heads off the dance floor for another drink and looks for Tommy but he’s not at his place at the bar. Casey finally spots him in the corner talking to some trampy blonde in a hot pink whore dress. This skank is a walking study in laughable choices, orange spray tan, pussy pink lipstick, clothes too tight and she’s obviously a butterface; everything looks good, but her face. Tommy hasn’t had that much to drink so surely he can see she’s rank. Jealousy floods through Casey like a horrible tidal wave of bad emotions. Her first instincts are to run up to Tommy and his slut and rip all the bleached hair out of her head by the roots and then to punch him in the mouth. But Tommy isn’t Casey’s and he doesn’t owe her anything. So Casey does what any woman in her situation and who has had as much to drink as she’s had would do. She grabs the first attractive man who looks at her by his collar and pulls him onto the dance floor.

 _Stripped_ by Shiny Toy Guns is playing and Casey presses herself against said random dude, the immense amount of alcohol in her system giving her false courage to be more brazen than she ever would have dared sober. Glancing to her right she sees Tommy; he’s completely focused on her now, watching as she backs her ass up against her dance partner. His eyes are narrowed and his mouth is angrily pushing the ever present toothpick from once corner to the other.

 _Let me see you, stripped down to the bone_ , the singer moans and Casey can feel that the guy she’s relentlessly grinding her ass into has an erection that he’s pressing roughly into her backside. Suddenly she doesn’t feel so good, the drinks catch up to her all at once and she stumbles away from the dance floor.

“Hey baby where you going?” The guy is pulling her back, pawing at her and no matter what she does he’s like a fucking octopus; he seems to grow extra limbs to keep her from escaping. “I ain’t done with you yet…”

“Come on, let me go…” Casey pushes at him and she feels the guy’s mood turn dangerous.

“Fucking cocktease…” and then octo-man paws at Casey’s chest. She puts her hands up to protect her head on instinct. Then she looks up and sees Tommy, the human wall, rushing at her. In slow motion she witnesses Tommy send her attacker flying across the dance floor on his ass, completely knocked out with one punch. Tommy grabs her by the arm and leads her out of the club.

Outside he opens the Chevelle’s door and pushes Casey in, slamming the door angrily. She watches as he paces in front of the car repeatedly before climbing in and starting the engine.

“Tha fuck was that? I turn my back for one second and you’re dry humping some asshole on the dance floor?” Tommy’s angry, angry enough that he’s exceeding the speed limit greatly, but so is Casey.

“Like you have room to talk? What about Miss Pinky the Skanky PornStar? I turn around and you’re off in the corner tongue fucking her ear.”

“Are you fuckin’ kidding me with this shit? She was asking about coming to Colts to train! I get that shit all the time, everyone knows my face around here and the more business I bring in the more I make. I hardly call that anything compared to turning yourself into rape-bait!” Tommy slams on the brakes and the Chevelle skids sideways in the road. Luckily there isn’t any traffic behind them due to the hour. “What the fuck is so wrong wit me that you’d choose a piece of shit like that instead?”

Casey is flabbergasted; she opens and closes her mouth several times but can’t think of anything to say.

“Cause I wouldn’t do the shit I’m doin’ for you for just anybody Casey. I ain’t no fucking charity worker and I sure as shit ain’t enjoying your rejection. So just tell me, what is so fucking wrong wit me? I think you owe me that much.”

“Nothing Tommy, there’s nothing wrong with you. I’m just afraid to feel things for you again because you hurt me before. And I KNOW it was almost twenty years ago and I know you’re doing things for me to keep me safe. You make me feel safe,” Casey hiccups and sniffs before continuing, “and I was jealous tonight when I saw you talking to that woman. I guess I wanted you to be jealous too…” Casey is crying now and she feels like a fool. She was mentally still stuck in high school with Tommy Conlon, craving his attention and fearing it once she gets it.

“You had me jealous alright, Casey. I wanted to kill that mother fucker when he put his hands on you.” Tommy breathing is rough and his fingers grip the steering wheel so tightly that Casey fears he’ll break off chunks of it like he had the headboard. Her tears flow freely now and she knows her face is a mess.

“Take me home Tommy. I don’t want to fight with you anymore.”

Tommy puts the car into gear and the rest of the trip back to Pittsburgh is spent in silence with only the sound of the tires and occasional traffic. By the time Tommy pulls up in front of the house Casey is passed out. Looking over at her she seems years younger than her age. But he’s also been noticing scars and he knows that her ex had to have given them to her; some look like fighters scars. She’d taken full blown punches from that sonofabitch. Tonight it had felt good to defend her even if it was her dumb ass that got herself into that situation. He should have been watching more carefully, should have cut her off of the drinks sooner.

 Tommy parks and carries her from the car to the house. She’s total dead weight and even with his muscles it takes a bit of work for him to get in the front door and then up the steps to Pops old room with her cradled to his chest. He lays Casey gently on the bed and takes her shoes off. She opens one eye and looks at him.

“We home?”

“Yeah,” he mutters and covers her up.

“Tommy, come here.”

Tommy walks back to the bed and leans over her. Casey circles her arms around his neck and tries to pull him into a kiss but Tommy shakes his head no and pulls away.

“I’m sorry Tommy. Please…”

“No Casey, not like this, not again. Last time we did and you were drunk I woke up the next morning to an empty bed and then heard from you that it was a mistake. I’m not doin’ that again.”

“Will you just lay with me then? Just hold me?” Casey’s words are slurred and she looks so pitiful that for a minute he’s tempted.

“I can’t,” he mutters and walks out of the room.


	7. Cold Tile Floor

Casey can’t sleep after Tommy leaves the room. She feels like a total heel; she’s thrown herself at him again while drunk. If she could be honest with herself she’d know that it isn’t alcohol that’s making her do it. She lies quietly, listening to the sounds of Tommy working out through the paper thin wall separating the two of them. The grunts he makes remind her of the sounds she heard coming from him as she rode him in the same bed that he was likely sitting on now.

Eventually the sounds cease and she hears him pad lightly down the hallway and into the other bathroom. The sound of running water soon follows and Casey waits until she hears the door shut and the lock engage before sitting up on the bed and digging in her purse for her cell phone. Even though it’s three in the morning she knows she can call Suzie anytime and right now she needs her best friend’s no-bullshit advice.

The phone rings five times before a sleepy Suzie answers. “What is it ho? This had better be good because I was having a sex dream about Alexander Skarsgard.”

“I can’t tell you where I am. So please don’t ask. Next, please help me; I need your advice and it has to be quick.”

There is silence on the other end of the phone so Casey takes it to mean that she’s listening. “I’m with Tommy Conlon and should I fuck with him? I mean like, not fuck with him but get with him. I mean I technically have already gotten with him but I was drunk and I tried again tonight but I’m drunk again and he turned me down because I’m drunk but I think he wants to be with me when I’m sober, but not drunk. What should I do?”

“Okay first off fuck you three ways for that horrific run-on sentence. You just slaughtered the grammar fairy in my soul. Secondly, I think you know the answer to this already but you want me to give you permission or something. I can’t tell you what to do, well I could but I’m not about to. Put on your big girl panties and decide for yourself,” Casey tries to break in but Suzie continues without missing a beat, “Now, there’s something you should know… I’m staying in Rick’s guest room because someone broke into my house. The only thing they took was a letter than I’m pretty sure came from you. Can you tell me this much, is it Michael?”

“Yeah, he broke into my house four days ago and left a note on my bed. He knew I didn’t sleep at home that night. I’ve been away since.”

“Casey, listen to me, if the local PD won’t do anything we need to get the state police involved, call the FBI, do something.”

“And you know they’ll tell me the same thing they did last time, that I have to go to the ‘burgh cops because it’s a local matter. They don’t wanna hear about corruption or to deal with any of my shit.”

“Maybe it’ll be different since he’s been to prison for what he did to you,” Suzie offers but her voice doesn’t sound convinced.

“Or maybe I’ll end up like the one cop who helped put him away. I don’t need to worry about Michael AND the ‘burgh’s boys in blue.” Casey was shaking now from the reality of her situation. She was coming to terms with reality, and her reality was that she didn’t know when she would be able to go back to her own home. Hearing the hallways bathroom door open she whispers her hurried goodbyes to Suzie and hangs up.  Casey feels like she needs to say something to Tommy, apologize or make a self-deprecating remark; anything to smooth things over. Walking to the door she yanks it open rapidly so that she doesn’t lose her nerve.

Casey never gets a word out because Tommy is standing there completely naked and trying to decide whether to hide the lube he has in his hand behind is back or cover his junk. God knows if he decides to go with the covering up its gonna take both hands.

“I thought you were asleep,” Tommy grumbles and Casey leans back into the doorway and folds her arms.

“It’s, um, hard to sleep after being rejected and then realizing what a shit I’ve been.”

“You know it wouldn’t’a been right. If you wanna get with me you need to be sober.”

Casey is pointedly staring at his naked cock and Tommy does his best to hide it with one hand and hold the Astroglide behind his back with the other.

“Hey,” Tommy barks and Casey jumps, “My eyes are up here.”

Casey roars with laughter at the blatant role reversal. Tommy is getting ogled and he doesn’t like it any more than she ever had.

“So yeah. I was coming to tell you I’m sorry,” Casey says and makes it a point to look him in the eyes. She debates telling him about Suzie’s break in and decides not to in the end.

“Alright, you’ve had ya fun. I’m off to bed. I gotta go into work at 7. Four hours of sleep ain’t near enough.”

Casey shivers at the thought of being alone here in his house. “You think I can tag along? I’ll buy a membership. I just… I don’t want to be stuck here in the house all day again.”

“You ain’t worried about Michael showing up down there?”

“Michael D’Argento, at an actual gym? Oh Tommy no, his idea of a place to work out was that cookie cutter gym uptown, LA Fitness? You know where no one actually works out or sweats. He’d be mortified to set foot in a real gym.”

Tommy smiles, liking the way she talks about “real gyms” as opposed to that place uptown for asshats and posers. “Yeah, if you wanna feel free to tag along. Dress like your ma would approve. We don’t have a whole lot of women that frequent Colt’s and the ones who do… well let’s just say they don’t look like you.” Tommy turns and goes into his room. Casey stands on her tip toes and looks round the corner to get a glimpse of his ass.

“Stop that!” Tommy calls out as he shuts the door. Casey giggles and heads back to her room for a quick shower and then an all too short rendezvous with her pillow.

 

 

Casey isn’t fully awake, even after Tommy comes in the room for a third time, this time threatening her with ice cubes. Only the thought of being stuck in the house all day alone rouses her enough to get dressed in the clothes she laid out earlier this morning and grab her gym bag.

Walking down the stairs like something out of a bad 70’s zombie movie, Casey grunts when Tommy greets her at the kitchen doorway with a cup of coffee. She sips it suspiciously and finds he’s made it exactly like she prefers it, black with just a little sugar.

“Damn Casey, you look like shit,” Tommy laughs loudly. He’s talking at a deafening volume on purpose.

“Thanks Tommy, you’re freakily exuberant this morning,” Casey growls and takes another sip of her coffee.

“Some of us didn’t drink half the bar last night,” he barks and motions for her to grab her bag, “Time to go sunshine.”

“But,” Casey whines, going quickly into dog whistle territory, “I ain’t had breakfast.”

Tommy reaches into his pocket and pulls out a protein bar. He tosses it at her and smirks, “Eat up.”

The car ride is chilly, the morning was unseasonably cold and Tommy isn’t turning on the heater. Casey chews on the protein bar which tastes like rotten peanuts and has the consistency of shoe leather. She looks over at Tommy and then down at his lap. He’s got an erection. Casey’s eyes bulge and she stifles a giggle which in turn makes her choke.

“What’s wrong? You okay?” Tommy’s pounding her on the back and making his erection jump in his sweats which in turn is making her choke-laugh even harder. He catches her line of sight and lifts his right leg slightly to try and hide it.

“Jesus Christ Case, I can’t help it. You act like you ain’t never seen a boner before.”

“Oh I’ve seen ‘em before, but it’s usually cause of me being naked.”

“I get them sometimes, randomly. I get them when I yawn, stretch, laugh… sometimes for no reason… aww shit I ain’t gotta explain nothin’ to you.”

“So what’s the reason behind this one?” Casey teases and expects him to growl at her to shut up or simply glare at her.”

“It’s because you smell really fuckin’ nice and your legs look amazing in those shorts.” Tommy deadpans and Casey’s breath catches in her chest. She turns her head slowly and looks at him, waiting for him to laugh at her as a signal that it’s a joke but he says and does nothing. Finally he looks away to drive and she sighs quietly with relief. The expression on his face had been animalistic, predatory and she had been melting under it.

Tommy makes a few quick turns and pulls in behind Colts to park. The building is old and small and Tommy has a key to the back door. The smell is predictably what Casey expected; sweat, leather, ass and testosterone. Casey doesn’t dare a peek to see if he’s still full mast as they walk in; instead she  follows him into the gym and heads for the tiny women’s locker room. Casey could tell it was newer than the rest of the place; added as an afterthought to some woman protesting the lack of separate facilities. Storing her shit in an empty locker she chooses to stretch in here instead of on the training floor.

Once she feels warmed up and loose she heads out to face the peacocks and meatheads that typically inhabit a place like this. She doesn’t see Tommy anywhere and her confidence goes straight out the front door. There is not another woman in sight and it seems that about eighty percent of the men have turned to stare at her like she has two heads and an extra tit.

She hears one catcall and it strengthens her resolve to find something to do. She walks over to the meager exercise equipment stationed at the front window and climbs onto the elliptical. Putting in her ear buds she chooses her workout playlist and the opening guitar of Sex on Fire by Kings of Leon begins. She keeps up with the beat easily, her nervousness fueling her drive with extra adrenaline and soon she’s broken into a nice sweat. She sees someone approach her from the side and she gives them a quick glance. It’s some douchewad with a mohawk. She sees his mouth moving but she can’t hear him over her music. Fuck, he’s still talking and he’s ruining her endorphin high.

Casey stops the motion of the elliptical and glares at the asshole while she pulls her ear buds out. “Yeah?” She questions, not hiding her annoyance or impatience. Suddenly it dawns on her that this is Grimes, the guy who Tommy put down twice, the second time at Sparta.

“I said, do I know you, babe?” Grimes is all cockiness, peacocking like a mother fucker, pulling what she refers to as an Uncle Rico; standing with his hands shoved into the undersides of his biceps to make them appear larger.

“No, you don’t know me,” Casey smiles sweetly, “but I know you. Why, you’re Mad Dog Grimes.” She waits a second to let that sink in. She moves closer to her and she sees that other members of the gym have taken notice and aren’t trying to hide the fact that they’re watching. “Yeah, I know you real well, as the shitbag that got his ass beat by my friend Tommy Conlon.”

Casey watches the smile fade from his face and anger take over. She continues, “You know, I give you credit though, it must take some kinda balls to walk in here everyday and see the guy who put you in a coma in front of half the world. Don’t change the fact that you got your ass reamed twice though. Now fuck off, you’re ruining my workout.”

“Cunt,” Grimes barks at her and then suddenly he’s gone from her field of vision. Tommy has him by his shirt and the back of his pants, escorting him away.

Casey scrambles down from the machine and runs after him. She isn’t about to be the cause of another fight. “Tommy stop… it’s okay…”

“It’s never ok for a mother fucker to talk to a woman like that,” Tommy huffs and throws Mad Dog between the ropes of the sparring ring. The two men who are in there vacate quickly as Tommy climbs in and glares at them.

“I ain’t got my hands wrapped,” Grimes protests and Tommy waves his unwrapped hands real close to his face.

“Me either mother fucker, let’s do this shit old school. Bare knuckles street fighting. Then you can’t say I didn’t kick your ass fair and square.”

Mad Dog looks around for someone to tell them both that this is a dumb idea but no one says a thing. Casey knows better, this is a matter of pride now and she’s not going to embarrass Tommy. Mad Dog looks like he might shit his pants any moment.

“PUT YOUR FUCKIN’ HANDS UP!” Tommy bellows and Grimes jumps into his protective stance. Casey can see him shaking and she almost feels sorry for him. “Come on you pussy, you can talk shit like that to a female but you can’t fight? Here, I’ll give you the first hit.” Tommy lowers his hands and Mad Dog takes the advantage, slamming his fist into Tommy’s jaw. Tommy doesn’t even flinch; instead he absorbs the pain and smiles eerily. Then he weaves once, punches Grimes straight in the side of his face and the fight is over. Grimes goes down like a bag of hammers.

“Someone call Colt…” a voice laughs  somewhere behind Casey and then the gym goes back to what it was doing before all the shit started. Casey stares open mouthed at Grimes as he tries to sit up in the middle of the ring. His eyes are crossed and he shakes his head repeatedly as someone tries to help him to his feet.

“Is he going to be ok?” Casey asks as Tommy climbs out of the ring and grabs her arm. He doesn’t answer her, he just steers her towards the women’s dressing room and follows her in. “Hey, you can’t be in here, this is…” But Tommy cuts Casey’s protests off with a kiss. A vicious, molten, lusty kiss. His hands paw at her tits roughly and she feels her nipples respond to his touch.

“Just tell me yes or no,” Tommy growls as he nips and sucks at her neck.

“Yes,” Casey manages to stammer and Tommy’s mouth leaves her neck as he pulls her shorts and underwear down and off. He’s on his knees now, hoisting her right leg over his shoulder and his mouth is devouring her cleft, leaving no part un-licked, un-sucked, or un-nibbled. Casey cries out loudly, the sound echoes throughout the empty room. Tommy reaches up and shoves her shorts into her open mouth to silence her cries and then uses the same hand to jam two fingers up into her slick heat. His tongue and digits are relentless as he draws a quick and fiery orgasm out of her that has her sliding down the wall. Tommy quickly stands to remove his pants and then he takes her there on the cold tile floor. There is nothing gentle about it; this is raw animalistic fucking and Casey delights in every thrust and every heavy breath that comes with Tommy’s exertions. His neck is thick and all that she can see in this position; the veins stand out and she knows he’s about to come.

“Fuck, Casey, you’re so wet,” he moans as he hammers into her. His arms are underneath her, his hands wrapped over her shoulders to keep her pulled into his thrusts. She’s close to a third release and if it weren’t for the shorts shoved into her mouth the whole gym would hear her. She can only respond by digging her claws into Tommy’s ass to push him deeper. It’s what he needs; she feels him jerking inside of her and the sensation sends her off into a blinding tailspin. Her cunt clenches around him, milks him, and his whole body shakes with his release.

Tommy takes a minute to get his bearings. He stands and offers his hand to Casey, helping her up. He reaches into the pocket of his discarded sweats and pulls out his keys.

“I think its best you head back to the house. I’ll catch a ride with someone.” Tommy says nothing else as he puts on his sweat pants and walks out the door.


	8. Cabin In The Woods

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was remiss in the last chapter. I neglected to credit the brilliant GingerConroy for the Uncle Rico line. She said it to me once on FB and I nearly pissed myself laughing. Ginger, you are the funniest bitch I ever met and in case you don't know, your fanfic blows mine out of the water.

All the way back to Tommy’s house Casey feels numb, dumbfounded. Why had Tommy acted that way afterwards? Like he didn’t want to look at her? Was it horrible? He’d been the one to initiate it this time, not her; she’d been in her right mind, free of any alcohol and had consented because she’d wanted to. But then he’d treated her like he couldn’t wait for her to be out of his sight.

Tears threaten to come but she breathes deeply, tries to calm herself. Casey doesn’t want to over think because that always leads to the wrong conclusions. She has a tendency to be overly dramatic and she knows this about herself. Casey resolves that she won’t think about it again until Tommy gets home tonight.

That plan lasts until she walks in the front door. Remembering how she threw herself at him that first night and he resisted her initially, then how she’d done it again last night and he’d turned her down she comes to a hasty conclusion. _Well it’s perfectly clear_ , she tells herself, _he fucked me today to shut me up and then he couldn’t look at me because he was so disgusted with himself._

Gathering all of her things as quickly as possible and stuffing it all haphazardly into her suitcase and duffle, she then calls for a Yellow cab. Less than forty five minutes later she’s headed to National Rent A Car. On the way she calls a place that she hasn’t been to in many years, not since she was a kid, to rent a very secluded cabin for the week.

Settler’s Cabin Park was a place that she used to visit every summer with her mother and father. They’d always rent a cabin for a week, play in the woods, swim in the pool and the creeks that ran through the camp and relax. She’d looked forward to it every year until she’d reached her moody teen years and then her parents had stopped booking it. The place stayed busy during the summer months and Casey hadn’t been sure she’d be able to book a cabin. Luck was on her side, there’d been a cancellation just that morning.

All National had available for rental was a red Grand Am so she took it, not wanting to have to fuss with calling another cab to take her to Avis. Settler’s Cabin Park wasn’t more than twenty miles or so outside of Pittsburgh but it seemed like another planet once you got there. No factory smog, no houses built into hillsides; it had always seemed impossible for anything to be wrong when she’d been there as a child. Hopefully the same peace won’t evade her now.

And so,  a grand total of two hours after she was jack hammered by Tommy Conlon in the women’s locker room at Colt’s Gym had passed when Casey pulls up to the rental office of the park. A signature, a swipe of her Visa and ten minutes later she is parking  in front of the same cabin she’d stayed at with her parents several summers in a row. Serendipity.

After carrying in all her bags she checks her phone for the first time. Tommy wouldn’t be home yet, of course. Casey doesn’t know why she thinks he would call anyway. He’s probably going to be relieved beyond belief to come home and find her gone. Well, she’s positive he’ll call to make sure she’s okay out of some testosterone driven sense of duty but beyond that it’s gonna be goodbye. Casey can’t decide for certain why the idea of parting ways with Tommy feels so wrong and hurts so badly.

Casey decides to head into the closest town, Imperial, PA, before it gets any later to stock up on a few groceries and to grab a bite from one of the mom and pop places that littered the main road there. Hopping back into the rental car she heads out, feeling inexplicably nervous and on edge. Hearing her phone ring makes her jump and swerve the car nearly completely off the road. What the fuck is wrong with me, she wonders to herself and pulls over on the side of the road before answering; she’s so shaken she doesn’t even glance at the caller ID.

“Hello?”

“Where are you?”

“Tommy, I’ve decided that staying with you probably isn’t the best idea. I mean, I really, really like you but…”

“Who’s Tommy?”

Casey’s blood turns to ice water; it’s Michael. She doesn’t say another word, she just hangs up and drives. The tears come, breaking though the dams of her lower lids and flooding her face with all the fear, regret, past trauma and loathing the thought of her abusive ex brings. She doesn’t pull over; Casey is determined to get her supplies and get back to the cabin before night fall. Michael wouldn’t know where to find her; she’d never told him about Settler’s Cabin park and he’d never wanted to hear stories of her childhood. Pulling into the Imperial Grocery parking lot she exits the rental car quickly, looking around at her surroundings out of paranoia.

Casey makes short work of shopping. She throws a lot of things in the cart out of a combination of panic and hunger. There are a few things she throws in because they make her think of Tommy. Thinking of Tommy makes her feel safer. A young fella named Noah, identified by his nametag, helps Casey load her goods into the trunk and she tips him just like her father always did. He smiles at her brightly and opens Casey’s door for her. She smiles at him nervously and backs out of the spot quickly, in a hurry to beat the setting sun.

Once she reaches the cabin she backs the car nearly all the way to the front door and leaves it there even after unloading her bags. Her stomach growls loudly and Casey decides that broiled salmon and a salad will be a quick and perfect meal for tonight. 

After starting the broiler and putting the fish in she starts chopping the salad. He cell phone beeps, signaling that she has a message. Her stomach is in knots already but she’s too worried about Michael fucking with Suzie or a number of her other friends not to answer it. Casey presses the speed dial for her voice mail and puts the phone on speaker.

“Hello Cassandra,” Michael’s voice echoes through the cabin and makes her skin crawl. He’d always insisted on calling her either by her given name or simply little girl. He’d always insisted that Casey was a man’s name, “I’m sorry we didn’t get to finish our conversation earlier. But no worries, we’ll have time to chat face to face soon. I’m sure of it. I’m looking forward to finding out who Tommy is.” The phone clicks, signaling the end of the message. Casey keeps chopping celery nervously, unable to even look at the phone, afraid she’ll see Michael in it somehow.

The phone rings and Casey screams and throws the knife; it lands blade down in the hardwood floor right next to her right pinky toe. Looking at the knife and then at the phone she sees that it’s Tommy calling.

“Tommy?” She answers, her voice shaky with the sound of tears.

“Casey? Baby where are you? Are you okay?” His voice is frantic, she can hear in his breathing that he’s been tearing through the house looking for her.

“Tommy, I’m okay…” Casey tries to reassure him but she can’t; her world is the most unsure place right now and she needs him, regardless of anything else, right now Casey Kesterson needs Tommy Conlon. “Please, can you come? Can you come to where I am? Can you bring some things and stay? Please?” She’s begging but there’s not an ounce of pride in her to stop it. Too afraid to go back to Pittsburgh and too terrified to stay here alone, she’s not above pleading.

“Just tell me where you are.”

Casey’s voice shakes as she gives him directions to the cabin. “Tommy,” she says, “he called me and I thought it was you, I said your name. He’ll figure it out; he’ll do whatever it takes to figure it out. You don’t know him.” She can hear him step outside the house with his phone; the sound of traffic gets louder after the recognizable screaking of the front door.

“Casey, dontchu worry about me; I’ll be fine. You just bolt the door and hunker down til I get there. I gotta grab some shit and I’m on my way. I’ll honk the horn twice when I pull up so you know it’s me, okay?”

“Okay,” Casey whimpers, doing her best to calm down, “I’ll be looking for you.”

“Babe? I’m starving…” he laughs and she joins him. Casey is sure he said it because he wants to give her a distraction and also because she ate his protein bar this morning.

“Drive safe,” she whispers before ending the call.

Casey grabs another salmon filet from the fridge and dolls it up to match her own. She sets about chopping more greens for the salad and decides to steam some of that beautiful asparagus she’d gotten from the grocery. Hollandaise sauce would take just the right amount of time to make s that she wouldn’t be watching out the window for Tommy every five seconds. It’s all busy work and almost like clockwork she hears the familiar roar of the Chevelle’s engine and then two quick blasts of the horn.

Still cautious she peers through the peephole and sees Tommy on the cabins doorstep with his bag slung over his broad shoulder. Casey feels like weeping at the sight of him. Opening the door, Tommy looks down at her and she can see that he’s pissed. She backs away and lets him in, feeling a little pissed off herself now that he’s here and safe.

He drops his duffle bag onto the hardwood floor and turns to Casey with his arms crossed. He waits for her to close the door before he speaks.

“What the fuck you doing runnin’ off to the woods like this? No note, no hi, bye, kiss my ass, fuck you… do you have any idea how worried I was when I came home and all your shit was gone?”

Casey’s temper flares and she walks towards his with her finger pointed at him. “Well Mr. Self-fucking-righteous, do you have any idea how cheap and trashy you made me feel after fucking me in the locker room at Colts and then not even looking me in the eye when you threw ya keys at me?”

“Are you for fucking real? That’s whatchu think?” Tommy’s so mad he’s spitting with each syllable, his neck veins bulging with his anger.

“Yeah, that’s what I think. You really believe I left because I wanted to worry you? That this is some sort of hissy fit without cause? YOU FUCKIN’ HURT ME TOMMY!” Casey screams and smacks a lamp off of the sofa table, sending it crashing to the ground.

Tommy’s on her in a split second, his hands wrapped in her hair, his mouth covering hers with soft wet kisses. He traitorous body responds against her will, pressing in to him as her arms wrap around him of their own accord. His hands pulls at her shirt, buttons go flying everywhere as he doesn’t waste time trying to undo them. Luckily for her wardrobe she was sans bra. Her anger turns to lust as he dips his head and takes a nipple into his mouth, his tongue lathing the sensitive peak, making her moan loudly.

He lifts his head and looks at her, his eyes dark, his expression unreadable. His hand winds in her short hair and he pulls it to force her eyes to meet his. “I wanted to get you out of there before anyone else disrespected you and I had to kill someone. I felt ashamed that I took you like that on the floor, it was disrespectful and you deserve better than that. I just wanted you so fuckin’ bad, Casey. You do somethin’ to me…”

Casey pulls her hand back and slaps Tommy hard in the face. The look of shock written in his expression immediately after is priceless. “Now we’re even,” she pants and laughs, “Can you please fuck me now?”

Clothes fly in every direction and Tommy stares down at Casey’s naked body. The scars he sees make him angry but are also beautiful to him. It’s part of her story and he is falling for this girl. She tries to cover herself when she sees his pointed gaze but he stops her. “Don’t you fuckin’ dare, you’re beautiful.” His kiss is slower this time, sensual and it leaves Casey gasping and clawing at the sides of his face. Her hands move to his traps and she thrills at the feel of them underneath her fingers as he picks her up and carries her to the kitchen.

“Oh shit Tommy! The salmon!” Tommy smiles and walks with her still wrapped around him to the oven where she grabs a mitt, opens the oven door and pulls their dinner out. Sitting it on the counter and flinging the mitt to the floor she wraps both arms around Tommy as she plants her on a clear part of the counter. He doesn’t waste any time, he enters her roughly and the sound he makes as she envelopes him is pure lust.

“Jesus Casey, you feel… god you feel so good,” he says and he rolls his hips as he pushes into her slowly. Casey can see the reflection of his ass as he thrusts and the view makes her even wetter. She digs her nails into his ass cheeks, making him cry out and bite down on her shoulder.

“FUCK!” Casey cries out but presses the back of his head, urging him to bite harder. He’s still pushing himself into her wetness, never breaking the pace but he picks her up off the counter and carries her to the steps leading to the upstairs. Tommy withdraws and sits Casey on her feet then turns her. He pats the fifth step and Casey picks up in his intentions quickly. Crawling onto her hands and placing her knees on the fifth step puts her at the ideal height for Tommy to take her from behind. His arm reaches around her and his fingers fumble around her cleft until he finds her engorged clit. His touch turns to silk as he rubs sensuous circles on the sensitive nub. Casey feels him place the head of his cock at her entrance and slide himself in.

“Casey, I ain’t gonna last long, you feel to fuckin’ good to me,” he pants as he slides himself in and out of her. This position gives him poise to go further inside of her than ever and Casey feels like he’s fucking her deeper than she’s ever been fucked before.”

“Just don’t stop, shit… I’m almost there…”

Her words do something to Tommy and his thrusts grow faster, harder. Sweat pours off of him and he slaps Casey’s ass. He hears her cry out and feels her cunt grasp him tightly as she comes. It’s all he can take and he’s pouring into her, still thrusting, panting…


	9. Admissions

Casey smiles when Tommy moves his plate from the chair across from her to the chair next to hers. He leans in, pulling her to him and bumps his forehead against hers. “This smells amazing.” He smiles as he digs in to the salad first. He’s finished with all of his before she ever gets to touch her salmon. Not feeling very hungry she offers it to him with a crooked grin and he takes it, smiling sheepishly back at her.

“Guess I need to think about making you bigger portions?” She asks, poking at the cherry tomatoes in her salad with her fork.

“I started training today and my appetite goes insane with the workout. But this kind of meal is perfect. Better than chicken and broccoli.” Tommy snorts as if it’s an inside joke so Casey doesn’t ask. “But yeah, I take in a lot of protein to build my muscles when I train. We’ll go into town in the morning and I’ll buy whatever we need. I can commute to Colts every other day and just use nature around here to build and train on opposing days. How long are we staying?”

“Tommy, I don’t want to make anything harder on you…”

Tommy throws his fork down and glares at Casey. “Don’t.” It’s a one word warning but Casey is too determined to give in to Tommy this time.

“You’re safer if you walk away now.”

Tommy slams his hands down on the table and glares at her. “D’you really believe that this mother fucker Michael could take me? What kind of asshole am I to you if I walk away at the first sign of trouble?”

“Tommy,” she stammers, fearful of him for the first time. He sees that in Casey’s face and does his best to calm his anger. Casey continues, “It’s just that he thinks different than you. There’s no way he could take you physically. But he’ll know this and he’ll find other ways. I don’t want to see you get hurt, especially because of me. I mean, you and me, we aren’t even together…”

“We aren’t?” He glares at her, his nostrils flaring just like they always do when he’s pissed. “What do I have to do to make you think that we ARE together? You need a ring or somethin’?”

“No!” Casey freaks, not liking that he thinks she’s asking him for anything, let alone a ring. “But I mean, you could ask me if I want to be your girlfriend, if that’s what you want, I mean.”

Tommy and Casey stare at each other, neither saying anything. The silence isn’t completely awkward but as it stretches out it starts to feel stranger. Tommy is the one who finally breaks the silence.

“Tell me about him, tell me what he did. I’m not trying to make you relive things just to hurt you, baby. I just need to know what I’m up against. It’s the same thing I do before I go into a fight. I learn everything I can about that opponent so I know where to hit first, I know his weaknesses.” Tommy’s voice turns soft and he reaches over to lift Casey’s chin with one finger. “I know I ain’t a brilliant mind but I _can_ think. It’s not just my fists that’ve gotten me this far.”

Casey sighs and rubs her face. “Finish your salmon; I’ll pour myself a drink because I’m going to need it.”

Tommy helps clean up dinner dishes; the silence between him and Casey is comfortable but both can tell that neither is going to enjoy what comes next. Tommy has a right to know the kind of monster Michael is even if it’s going to raise a lot of demons from the dead for Casey. And she’s going to tell him everything, from the beginning to the final showdown.

Tommy builds a fire in the huge stone fireplace and Casey pours herself another drink, bringing the bottle to the living with her and setting it on the coffee table. She curls up on the couch and waits until Tommy sits next to her. His expression is stone and she knows it’s his way of preparing himself for what she’s about to tell him. So she starts at the beginning…

“Michael and I met at Allegheny community, he was there taking the law enforcement courses and I was majoring in art. We met by accident, he backed into me as I was driving through the parking lot. His car had more damage than the Grand National so we called it even and parted ways. The next day he was waiting outside the Art building with a rose and a card, real smooth like. And before I really knew what was happening we were dating. But it wasn’t right because he never asked, he always assumed and I was so over the moon about him that I didn’t see what he was doing before it was too late.” Casey empties her tumbler and pours another one, sighing deeply as she realizes what she tells Tommy next is going to infuriate him.

“I come home from school one day about a month and a half into my relationship with him and open the door to the house, MY house and see that he’s moved in. I hadn’t invited him, I mean he’d stayed overnight on occasion but I didn’t think for one second that we were anywhere serious enough to live together for fucks sake. So I threw him out, broke things off.” Casey can feel her stomach flutter with nervousness and the tremor in her hands get worse. She needs to tell it all…

“That night, my house was broken into and I was,” she pauses, gulping down another tumbler of whiskey and refilling before continuing, “I was, uh, raped repeatedly by the intruder. I never saw his face. I only heard him speak once and he called me a sweet little girl.” The next day when I came around I called Michael and he moved back in.”

Casey looks at Tommy and sees the hurt in his face and she considers not telling him anything else but his hand on her arm urges her on.

“About two months after Michael moved in I was cooking grilled cheese for lunch and I burned the bread on one side. And he backhanded me across the kitchen. It escalated from there. Bruises, bumps, my nose was broken three times and eventually I had to get reconstructive surgery to fix it. I tried reporting it to the police when it got really bad but Michael was on the force by that time and his buddies weren’t about to bring shame to the badge or to help me take down their brother in arms. I tried running away but always came back, either kicking and screaming because he’d found me or because I realized I had nowhere to go.”

Casey shifts in her seat, her legs have gone numb and she’s feeling lightheaded from pounding more than half a bottle of Dewar’s in a very short period of time. She sighs and runs her fingers through her hair.

“The one night, when I was lying in bed waiting for Michael to finish his business as I came to call it when he had sex with me, my mind was a million miles away from my body, and I heard him say it,” Casey sobs and covers her mouth with her hand, looking at Tommy through her tear filled eyes, “he said it exactly the same and it’s when I knew… he called me ‘sweet little girl’ and I knew he’d been the one who’d raped me that night. It was all part of his game, his way to get back into my house and I’d fallen for it because I’d been scared.”

Casey stands and paces in front of the fireplace, her heart pounding in terror as she relives the last time she saw Michael outside of a courtroom.

“I threw him off of me, screaming at him that I KNEW, I KNEW it was him and he didn’t even try to deny it. He was PLEASED with himself. He came at me and he hit me harder than I’ve ever been hit in my life. He meant to kill me and he nearly succeeded. Someone jogging by the house that night heard me screaming and called 911. Because it was an outsider, meaning someone who wasn’t me, they had to take him in.”

Sitting down next to Tommy again Casey smiles at him weakly, the worst is almost over and she’s relieved but exhausted. “There was a new Captain on the force, someone who transferred in from New York. He took a special interest in the case and he did what he had to. He got Michael charged and put away, along with a few of Michael’s pals who’d been covering the abuse up for years. A whole lot of corruption was uncovered, not just my shit but bribes, coercion, cover ups, theft of evidence, mainly drugs that Michael and his friends used and sold. It all came out and Michael got four years. He was out in less than half that and that nice Captain that saved me ended up dead.”

Casey is wrung out, lifeless, colorless and numb now from the pain she’s relived in this short amount of time.

“So maybe now you understand why I’m scared for you to get involved. I thought it was over, thought he’d moved on. But Tommy, he’s never going to leave me alone, not until one of us is dead and buried.” Casey slumps back into the couch and closes her eyes. She can’t help but to drift off, her mind is shutting down because it’s reached its limit and her body is full of liquor. At some point she feels Tommy pick her up in his arms and carry her upstairs. She feels him lay her on the bed and then wrap his immense frame around her, holding her tightly in his arms, protecting her from anything and all things bad. Right before she drifts off she feels Tommy nuzzle her ear and whisper, “Casey, will you be my girlfriend?”

“Yes Tommy,” she whispers back and then she sleeps.


	10. Side Roads

Casey feels Tommy pressed hard against her, he’s snoring lightly but she can feel that he’s erect. She smiles to herself and pushes back into him, feeling him rouse slightly, tightening his arm around her and growling lowly into her ear.

No words pass between them as Tommy kisses the back of her neck and she sighs. Her neck has always been the most sensitive part on her body. Feeling his soft, plump lips moving slowly back and forth as they lay soft, wet kisses on her skin she reaches a hand behind her and winds her fingers into his hair to urge him to kiss harder.

Tommy nips then licks the little injury, making Casey moan out loud and turn over to face him. Tommy slides her panties down her legs and then removes his own underwear. His look is different somehow, there’s a softness to his features that looks alien but beautiful. Tommy sits up on his knees and spreads Casey’s legs. He takes the sight of her in, pushing her tank up over her breasts and then leaning down to nuzzle them with the wet heat of his mouth. Casey arches her back and pushes her head hard into the pillow. Her hands run up and down the muscled expanse of Tommy’s back and she relishes the feel as they react and move under her touch. Raising himself up onto one hand he guides his length slowly inside of her and she cries out as she feels him slide into her, the key to her lock, awakening parts of her heart and soul that she’s kept hidden from the world but now surrenders willingly to this man.

His eyes never leave hers, his mouth is open slightly and curved into a sexy crooked smile. His brow furrows as she clamps tightly around him, her body clutching at him as he withdraws and plunges into her again, the motion is achingly slowly. He never quickens his pace but instead his deliberately unhurried movements draw out of her passionate cries and moans; he’s playing her like an instrument. This isn’t the hurried rough fucking she’s known with Tommy Conlon up until now; this man is making love to her like no one ever has.

Her first release is so intense that it takes her breath away, leaving her gasping for air as she grabs onto Tommy, pulling his close. He kisses her face, her neck and then her lips but he never alters his pace. She can see the concentration written in his face as her body clenches at him in the throes of her orgasm. He smiles and whispers one word so tenderly that it nearly breaks her heart, “Baby.”

Flipping them so that he’s on his back and she’s riding him, she takes over but maintains the pace he started. His eyes close briefly and he smiles, the sight of him flooding her with arousal and the desire to make him come as hard as she had. Leaning forward slightly she grabs the roughhewn log headboard and uses it to leverage her thrusts, not speeding up but making them harder, taking him deeper. She can tell he’s close but she wants to afford him the same consideration he did her, so she doesn’t quicken her movements, instead she only maintains the pace and soon his hands fly to her waist, grasping hard at her skin as he empties into her. His abdomen contracts, his eyes are open and looking up into her face and his breathing is shallow. “Baby,” he says again as the spasms subside and he relaxes back onto the mattress.

Casey slumps forward on to him and smiles as she feels the light sheen of sweat on his chest.

“Good morning… baby,” she snickers and calls out when his hand comes down hard on her bare ass.

“Good morning,” Tommy laughs and thrusts inside of her one last time. “How about a shower and then we ride into the closest town to do a little shopping?”

Casey giggles, “I think if we shower together we might never make it into town and while you’re tasty as hell, you aren’t going to stop the rage monster in my stomach from making its displeasure known.” She kisses his lips and feels him slide out of her; she can’t stop the pout that graces her face at the loss of him. “Besides, maybe I need a little time to recuperate.”

Tommy smiles crookedly at her as she climbs out of the bed and stretches, her body covered in goose bumps, partly from the chilly air and partly from having just been marauded by her lover… her boyfriend. His words from the night before and her acceptance come back to her and she smiles. “You’re my boyfriend…”

“Yeah, I am. An’ I might be wrong but doesn’t that mean you get no time to recuperate?” He growls and is on his knees, crawling towards her before she even realizes what has happened. Turns out that she really didn’t need time after all.

 

 

She looks at the huge hickey Tommy had given her in the shower in her mirror compact nervously. It was so high school to be marked like this and she should have known that make-up was only going to make it more noticeable. But in a way she dug that he’d marked her, that he was possessive like that enough to put his claim on her, even if it was a juvenile way of going about it. People in the small town will most likely be looking at the hulk of a man that is Tommy Conlon instead of the love bite over her carotid artery.

Tommy’s behind the wheel; they’d opted to use his car instead of the rental. She watches the muscles in his arms as he drives, the sheer power that she knows lies within them and the fact that he’d held her so tenderly with them only minutes ago makes her ache in a delicious way. Those hands of his that had been all over her have beaten men into submission and yet they’d brought her such delirious pleasure in the shower.

“Whatchu thinkin’ baby?” He asks, winking at her and chewing on a toothpick.

She squeezes her thighs together, remembering his mouth and the way it had teased her clit, had her panting and begging while her fingers wrapped themselves into his hair. The touch of his lips and tongue had been barbed velvet, making her hurt in the best way possible and remembering the way he ate her as she’d pressed her body back hard against the shower wall has her wet all over again.

The movement of her legs pressing together isn’t lost on Tommy. He looks in the rearview then ahead and takes a right on a small gravel road leading to god knows where.

Pulling far enough up the road that his car couldn’t be seen she turns the engine off and shifts in his seat to look at Casey.

“I asked you a question baby, whatchu thinkin’ about? And don’t fuckin’ lie to me.”

His words are dark but his tone still has a hint of playfulness. Casey decides she isn’t going to sugar coat it one bit like he obviously thinks she will.

“I was thinking of the way you ate my pussy in the shower,” she purrs and watches as his mouth falls open and the toothpick hangs in the corner from his bottom lip. “I was thinking about how your lips just curved around my clit and how soft, hot and wet your tongue was. I was thinking about watching you make me come with that sexy fucking mouth of yours and while I was thinking all that, I absolutely drenched my panties.” She leans forwards towards him across the seat, “Baby, I’m so wet right now you could wring my lacy pink panties out like a dishrag. All that from thinking about these lips right here.”

Licking the end of her own finger she then uses it to trace the outline of his mouth before taking the toothpick from him and placing it between her own lips.

She looks at Tommy’s crotch and sees that he’s straining the front of his jogging pants to the maximum. Her gaze moves back to his face and his eyes have gone dark, his expression ferocious.

 “Get in the backseat now,” he growls and Casey doesn’t hesitate. She slides over the seat and lands in the cramped rear of the car. “You better have that ass naked by the time I get back there.”

But Casey can’t move fast enough, Tommy has the door open and the driver’s seat flipped forward before she can obey his command. His growl is louder now, his brow furrowed. He reaches in and grabs her by the ankles, pulling her roughly towards him. He unbuttons her cut-offs with one quick motion and flings them into the front of the car. He doesn’t bother taking her lacy thong off, instead pushes it to the side. He kneels on the ground and looks up at Casey as she props up on her elbows to watch him.

“This whatchu want?” He grins and leans his head in, his tongue swipes at her cleft, the motion hard and quick and it makes Casey gasp. “Or is it this?” His lips circle around her nub and draw it into his mouth while his tongue lashes at it.

“Oh my fucking god,” Casey cries loudly, hearing it echo throughout the woods that surround them.

“Which is it baby?” He laughs, sliding his finger between her folds, finding her clit quickly and rubbing a circle on it.

Casey leans forward and presses his face into her roughly, “Shut the fuck up,” she laughs and he attacks. His mouth does everything she was thinking and it’s not long before the heat of release surges through her body.

“Tell me,” two words and they’re mercurial, sending Casey over the edge when she hears him say them in his raspy voice.

“Oh god baby… I…,” but the words can’t form and she’s shaking inside and out, whimpering with the intensity of what he’s done to her.

Tommy grabs Casey around the waist and drags her out of the car. He lays her on the hood of his Chevelle and spreads her legs wide. Pushing the waistband of his jogging pants down he slams himself into her and she cries out. He fills her up, pulls out and repeats; his thrusts are strong and deep, angled just right. Her back arches off the hood and his hands grab her hips, his fingers dig into her skins as he pulls her into the motion. He’s grunting, the sounds are almost feral. She looks at him and he’s staring her down, waiting for her to come again before he finds his own release.

“Tell me baby, tell me to come all over you and I swear to fucking god I will…” Casey’s panting so hard she feels faint.

“Come for me baby, come all over me…” Tommy says and when he feels her start to contract on his cock he’s over the edge and coming harder than he can ever recall. He jerks hard, pulling up and into his arms while still joined with her, his hands in her hair and his mouth at her ear.

“See what you do to me baby?” He laughs and buries his face in her hair.


	11. Suicide or falling in love, whats the difference?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> before you even start to read this chapter know two things. This chapter is shorter than most and I’ve done my best to keep the length and tempo of the chapter a certain way because it’s also inspired by a song. I want you to listen to this sexy fucking song while you read this so go to http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WEDpqfWrljE&feature=kp , put this song on repeat while you read this chapter and I think you’ll understand why. Because passion and love will make you crazy as fuck. Do this for me, do this for yourself because it’s only going to make reading this chapter better.
> 
> If you have a hard time copying and pasting the link the name of the song is called Suicide by James Arthur. And a shout out goes to Melody Isa Hardigan (tomcanspankmehardy) for turning me on to this amazing fucking song. You're my ride or die bitch, you know this.

The trip to town had been short and productive. They’d sped through the tiny grocery because all either of them could think about was getting home and being alone. Tommy had brought his mp3 player into the house and hooked it up to the stereo. Casey had made a makeshift pallet in the floor in front of the fireplace and poured them both a drink.

Deciding that she didn’t want to waste any time she stripped to her underwear before walking out to where Tommy was. The opening notes of a song play and it’s not anything she’d ever expect from him. It’s slow, bluesy, the singer’s voice is full of emotion and soul.

Tommy looks at her; it’s the same expression he’d worn in the bedroom this morning. He walks over to her, his bulky frame deceptively graceful in its movements. Tommy takes the drinks from her hands and sits them on the sofa table and pulls her into his arms. He moves with her, drifting slowly in a gentle dance, keeping perfect time with the music. Then he lifts her chin with his finger and kisses her so tenderly she feels it in every way, ever cell of her body lights up.

He doesn’t say anything; he picks her up around the waist and carries her to the pallet, laying her down like she’s the most precious thing in the world. His eyes are soft, the smile on his lips reaching them in a way she’s never seen before. He removes all his clothes and then kneels beside her, his eyes taking her in as he removes the last of her garments with graceful hands.

Tommy pushes her thighs apart and lies between her legs. Gliding himself gently into her he watches her face as she moans and presses her head back into the pillow. He moves slowly, his hands roaming, exploring, touching her body reverently. Tommy is worshiping her in the way he knows best.

Casey runs her fingers through his hair, tugging when he does something that feels so good, and her sounds match the motion. Her other hand makes its way to his ass, digging into the muscles there as they flex to push into her. The weight of him is something that she misses every hour they’re not naked and entwined this way.

“Baby,” he whispers and one word says a million things. She’s feeling him on so many levels that she cries without warning.

“God,” she sobs and he presses deeper into her, his arms snake underneath her, his hands wrap up and over her shoulders, pulling her as close to him as possible. The song sets the tone with the emotions of the words. Casey knows in that moment that she loves Tommy, that a part of her always has and that she can’t live without this man.

Tommy presses kisses into her neck and she feels him holding back, trying to make sure she comes first, but this time it’s not about release for her, it’s about feeling these things for Tommy and accepting them, even as scary as that might be.

“Baby,” she gasps, “Don’t hold back, don’t hold back with me ever. Make love to me.”

Tommy lifts and places his weight on his forearms; his look tells her that he’s feeling the same thing.

“Casey…” His eyes close and he thrusts as she wraps her legs around his waist, he opens his mouth to say more but Casey stops him.

“Shhhh, baby I know,” she smiles and closes her eyes as he lifts up onto his knees. He picks her up and she wraps herself around his torso. Together they move in unison and Casey feels the storm building.

“It’s always been you,” He breathes, his motions becoming faster, his muscles tightening, his hands looking for a place to land but deciding each place is better than the last.

“I’m close,” she whispers, her breasts pressed hard into him, the slick friction of his sweaty skin hardening her nipples to the point of overload.

No more words are exchanged as they reach the pinnacle together. She feels every shiver his body makes; he feels her quaking inside and out from the release he’s given her. Something has changed between them and they both know it. It’s the first of several times that they would end up with limbs entangled and whispering words that neither one had ever thought they would say to someone again.

Somewhere close to dawn they were near sleep, pressed close together, lips gently clashing, drowsily Casey smiles at her love, her heart, through heavily lidded eyes.

“That was a damned perfect song.”


	12. The Storm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please be aware that there is violence in this chapter.

It’s been a year, seven months and four days since that night in the cabin. Casey sports a huge rock on her finger and no longer works at Mullen’s. Soon after the engagement was announced Colt asked her to help him book fights and to manage the office at the gym, she’s sure it had been at the behest of Tommy

. She basically gets paid to watch Tommy prowl the floor at Colts, work out, train others and spar. One of the first things she’d done was to rearrange the tiny office so she had a clear view of the entire gym floor from her desk. It brought her endless amounts of joy to watch her man all day, every day and she knew he felt better being able to keep an eye on her too.

She’s sitting at the desk, looking over some new membership contracts when Tommy walks in, sweaty, smelly and as sexy as she’s ever seen him.

“Baby,” she says, looking up at him and smiling, “what’s up?”

“You called Suze about the flowers and the dresses?” He asks before flopping down into the chair across from her and trying to unwrap his hands. Casey stands and walks over to him, she sits on the edge of the desk and takes his right hand, unraveling the wrap for him. She smiles, Tommy worries about this wedding more than she does and it endears him to her.

“All of those arrangements have been made. We all go for our final fittings next Thursday.” Tommy opens his mouth and Casey cuts him off, “And yes I’ve told Tess to have the girls there, I made it for six in the evening so they have plenty of time to pick them up from school and get them here.”

Since Casey has no family of her own she’d asked Suzy to be her Maid of Honor, Tess to be her Matron of Honor and for Rosie and Emily to be the Flower Girls. The girls had been so excited and every time they see Casey they ask how much longer til they can throw petals. The countdown is in the single digits now, nine days and Casey will be Mrs. Tommy Conlon.

In the big scheme of things it’s all happened so fast that when she thinks about it, it makes Casey’s head spin. A little less than two years have passed and she’s about to marry this man; but there has never been a single doubt in her mind that it’s what she wants, what she needs.

Casey finishes unwrapping both of Tommy’s hands and rolls the wraps up the way he taught her to make the next use easier. He refuses to let her wash them, preferring they stay “stinky” with the “blood of all his weak ass opponents”. Speaking of…

“Hey, thought you should know that Grimes reapplied for a membership here.” She reaches behind her and pulls his app from the pile, laughing at the childlike scribble he put on the page, too many blows to the head apparently.

“Ain’t happenin’,” Tommy says, laying his sweaty hand on her knee and rubbing lightly, “Colt won’t go for it ‘cause he knows I’ll fucking quit if he lets him back in.”

“I hope this isn’t on my account,” Casey sighs and slides her fingers through Tommy’s sweat soaked hair. His training has him at the gym all day and even on his so called days off he’s always here, always watching her like a sentinel. Her muscled guardian protects her day and night, especially since the note. Casey shakes her head, not wanting to think about the death threat on her car six months ago.

Michael is a wanted man now, on the run because he’d held up a gas station and had gotten caught on camera when he shot the clerk and killed her. His former comrades have no choice but to look at him as the criminal he is now since the video of his crime has gone viral. He’d left the note on her Grand National the same night he’d killed that poor woman who was just doing her job.

 _I’ll come back for you and when I do, I’m fucking taking you out Casey. If I can’t have you nobody will._ It was so pathetically typical, like something you’d see in a cheesy movie, but the threat had been real and Casey hadn’t slept without nightmares and waking up screaming for a solid month afterwards.

“I don’t want him back here because he’s a shit opponent and a general all around asshole. He’s bad for business.” It’s the truth but its more what he _doesn’t_ say that strikes at Casey’s heart. She knows that Tommy doesn’t want him back here because there is no way that Grimes can resist giving her shit. She also knows that Tommy would kill him if he did.

“That’s between you and Colt baby,” Casey mutters and traces her fingers along the lines of his bulging traps, smiling when the goose bumps appear, “Grimes ain’t anything that I can’t handle.”

Tommy chuckles and runs his hands up and down Casey’s calves, inducing some goose bumps on her skin. “How much longer you plannin’ on working today?” He asks and his voice low and full of suggestion.

“Workin’ here? About another twenty minutes,” Casey leans down close to Tommy’s ear and purrs, “but I was thinking about putting in some serious work at home.”

“Damn,” is all Tommy says before standing, “now I get to walk through the floor like this,” he laughs, pointing to the tenting in his sparring shorts.

“I’ll finish up here and you meet me at home in 45.”

Casey wraps her arms around her fiancée, loving the musky smell of him and not caring that he’s sweaty. She leans in and tiptoes to kiss him and laughs when she hears the whoops and catcalls from outside the glass office wall.

“Don’t keep me waiting,” she smiles as Tommy turns and doesn’t even bother trying to cover his hard on as he walks through the gym to the locker room.

She leaves a few minutes earlier than she had planned and stops at the liquor store for a pricey bottle of red wine and then at the grocery store for supplies to make Tommy’s favorite dinner. He might complain about all the carbs in the pasta but she’ll suggest to him a hundred different ways he can burn them off and what she’s serving him for dessert doesn’t have any calories at all. The smile on her face feels permanent; she’s never been this happy in all her life.

Walking into the house they share she’s so preoccupied that she doesn’t see the signs before it’s too late and a hand is over her mouth.

“How did I beat you home?” Tommy laughs as he spins her around. She thinks briefly about smashing the wine bottle over his head. Didn’t he stop to think she’d be terrified by what he’d just done? But rather than casting a shadow over the whole evening she does her best to smile and shake it off as she kisses him.

“I stopped and got us some wine and things I needed to make Spaghetti Bolognese and salad.”

“Baby,” Tommy says, growling and pulling her close. “That sounds amazing. Listen, I’m going to pop to the basement and throw in a load of clothes and then I’m gonna call Pilar and make sure she’s finalized her plans to come in for the wedding.”

“Okay babe, I’ll get dinner started.” She smiles and tiptoes to kiss him deeply, relishing his arms around her. Casey can’t wait to meet Pilar and the kids, they’re family to Tommy just like Brendan, Tess and the girls are.

He breaks the embrace, kisses her forehead and grabs his gym bag. Casey can hear his footsteps on the wooden stairs heading down to the laundry room. Casey gets busy with dinner; first she unpacks the grocery bags and then starts the sauce. She uncorks the wine, letting it breathe for a few minutes and then pours two glasses. She hasn’t heard Tommy come back upstairs so she sits his on the counter and takes a sip of her own. It’s a good wine, a little pricier than she usually goes but she decides it’s worth the extra money. She starts chopping the veggies for the salad and she hears muffled noises from the basement.

Casey doesn’t think much of it until a loud crash echoes up the stairs. Tommy’s probably cause the sandbag to come loose from the rafter again like he has several times. She smiles, thinking about how hard he’s training these days. He’ll need another shower before dinner but she doesn’t care, the sauce can simmer while she climbs in with him. Her shoulders hunch forward and she shivers at the thought of sliding her naked body next to his under the hot water spray.

More minutes pass and Casey figures he might need help with the sandbag. Grabbing his wine in one hand hers in the other, Casey heads down the stairs. The bare bulb hanging from the ceiling casts eerie shadows throughout the laundry slash home gym.

“Tommy?” She calls out, not seeing him at first and then her eyes adjust. Tommy is slumped in the corner against the wall, his hand pressed to his gut. She can see blood pouring out from under his hand and he raises the other to point weakly behind her.

“Hello Cassandra,” she hears from behind her before the hand winds around her neck. She barely has time to scream before the fingers tighten and constrict her air. He forces her head to look in Tommy’s direction and she tries to scream. There’s so much fucking blood pooling on the floor next to him and his skin is ashen. She realizes that both of them will probably die in this basement tonight and she mouths a final _I Love You_ at Tommy.

“Look at him; he ain’t so fucking tough now is he? All those muscles don’t help against a shank.”

Michael cackles and the sound is evil; Casey claws at the fingers that grow tighter on her throat. He picks her up by the neck and throws her down onto the bare concrete. Her head smack into the hard floor and she hears a loud cracking sound that resonates within her skull.

She tries to sit up but everything is spinning and she feels Michael tugging at her slacks. She tries to kick at him but can’t seem to land a blow, her head throbs and tears pour but she can’t focus, can’t even cry out.

“Hey Conlon, watch this, I’m ‘bout to fuck your old lady and I want you to watch before you bleed out you son of a bitch,” Michaels laughing now and Casey struggles to scream but manages nothing but a gurgle.

Casey feels him savagely push himself into her and a scream finally comes, but it’s not from her, the anguished cry she hears is from Tommy. The sound is inhuman, the anguish and despair too much to take and Casey feels herself blacking out. Suddenly Michaels out of her and his weight is lifted from on top of her. She can hear sounds but can’t focus enough to see what’s going on. She pushes up to her hands and looks up at the blurred figures in front of her.

Closing one eye she finally focuses and is able to see that Tommy is kneeling with all his weight on Michaels back and he’s pulling on his head, his hold underneath their attackers chin. She focuses on his traps and thick neck and how it all bulges with the effort of his struggle. She sees the blood pouring from his wound and she knows he doesn’t have much time left.

“Tommy,” she cries and succumbs to the blackness that saves her from seeing the carnage as Tommy Conlon tears Michaels head completely from his shoulders and flings it against the wall.


	13. Unreality

The beeping sound is irritating and Casey swings her arm to the right, looking for the alarm clock. She’s just had the most terrible dream but she’s still sleepy and not ready to get up. She’s got a hell of a fucking headache…

“Tess, she’s coming around,” she hears a man say and then she hears a little girls giggle.

“You call and get word to Tommy and I’ll get the nurse.”

Casey tries to open her eyes but they feel like they’re full of sand and super-glued shut. This is one fucked up nightmare; Casey thinks if she can just mutter a sound then she’ll wake up but her throat is drier than she can ever remember it feeling.

“Casey? Honey it’s Tess, don’t pull at the tube in your throat babe…”

She wants to ask, to scream, to find out where Tommy is but there’s something stopping her and there’s an uncomfortable feeling of air being pushed into her lungs. She struggles to maintain her own rhythm of breath but knows now that a machine is doing it for her.

She finally gets her eyes open and can see through slits that she’s in a hospital and slowly the memories come back to her. She sees a nurse come into the room and the woman smiles down at her, checking her vitals.

“Sweetie, I’m Beulah and I’m your nurse. You seem to be doing really well so I’m going to page the doctor and see about you getting off this ventilator real soon. Let’s get you your meds and then we’ll get you sitting up a little in the bed, yeah?”

Casey nods and then makes a writing motion with her fingers. The nurse looks at Tess and nods at the bedside table drawer. “There’s a pen and pad in there.”

Once Nurse Beulah leaves Tess hands you the pad and paper and you immediately start scribbling.

_Where’s Tommy._

“Oh Casey, let’s just worry about getting you well…”

You glare at her as best as you can and point to the written words emphatically.

“He’s in jail.”

You write one word, feeling panic set in.

_WHY?_

“They have him locked up on murder charges. Honey do you know how long you’ve been out?”

It was a dumb question and Casey can see in her friends face that she knows it; there’s no need to point it out.

_How long?_

“Three months. You had a really bad brain bleed and were in a coma. We didn’t know if you were going to survive it or not.”

Casey shakes her head, willing the tears to stay away but she can’t stop them from falling.

Tell me everything.

Tess sighs and Brendan comes back in the room. He smiles at Casey and comes to her bedside, taking her hand and gently squeezing it.

“Tommy wanted me to tell you that he loves you first thing when you woke up. I can see that Tess told you where he is.”

Casey nods and more tears breach the dams of her lower lids, streaming down her face and onto the lumpy hospital pillow.

“Listen Casey, I have a friend who’s a corrections officer where he is and he’ll get the message to Tommy that you’re ok. That will make a world of difference to him. But as soon as they get you off the ventilator we have to know exactly what happened. Right now the police are trying to say that Tommy caught you with your ex and killed him in a jealous rage and then tried to kill you. I know that can’t be what happened and we have to get Tommy out of there. Someone inside will try to kill him eventually just for the notoriety.”

Casey’s eyes grow wild and her heart monitor beeps wildly. She pulls at the tube in her throat, desperate to tell the story now and the nurse comes running back in.

“Calm down Casey, calm down…” Brendan helps Beulah subdue her as she administers a sedative.

Casey struggles to remain awake but the pull of the medicine is too much; she goes under looking at Brendan’s face and thinking that he and Tommy don’t look a thing alike.

 

Emerging from the murky depths of a drug induced sleep, Casey senses immediately that the ventilator tube is gone and that she is crazy thirsty and starving.

She lifts her hand, hoping that someone is there because her eyes are too blurry to find the call button.

“Yeah, I’m here Case,” Brendan says, his voice sleepy.

“What time is it?” Casey growls, her voice full of dust and gravel.

“It’s about three am.”

“Why are you here?”

“Tommy made me promise that you wouldn’t be left alone for a minute. He’s sure that someone on the force is going to try and do you in.”

Casey asks Brendan to sit her bed up and he does so then hands her the remote so that she can adjust it herself.

“I think you better fill me in Casey. I know it’s going to be hard but I need to know what’s happened in the past if I’m going to get Tommy the help he needs. Right now it don’t look good for him, they prosecutors are talking about seeking the death penalty.

Casey’s heart monitor goes berserk again and she takes deep breaths to calm down. She doesn’t want to be sedated again.

“Brendan, in my house, under a loose floor board under the bed is a file. Inside that file is a copy of every police report I ever gave, pictures of bruises and black eyes, sores, all time and date stamped all proof of Michael’s abuse. There are names of every cop that I knew was on the take and there is a signed affidavit from the prosecutor that helped put Michael away that says he was fearful for his life and names the cops he thought were after him. We’re gonna get Tommy out of jail.”

The next morning Casey makes a nerve wracking call to the FBI. She can’t involve anyone locally with this. She speaks with a receptionist who quickly transfers her to someone else. They listen to her story and tell her that someone from a local field office will be in to see her soon. She thinks they’ll show up within a couple of days but is surprised when it’s only a few hours later that two men walk into her room.

“Hello ma’am, I’m Special Agent Barnes and this is Special Agent French. We’re here to talk to you about the phone call you placed to us this morning.”

Casey sobs with relief, and she nods. “Brendan is on his way now with the file you’ll need. He’s making duplicates beforehand but I can fill you in on what you need to know.”

Three hours later the men are on their way back to their headquarters with the file that Brendan copied and a promise that they’ll work quickly to free Tommy. Agent Barnes was especially gung ho about getting Tommy out; he’d been a huge fan of Sparta and was also an ex-Marine.

Tess and Brendan walk back in with the girls a mere hour after the agents leave.

“So guys it looks like I’m getting sprung tomorrow,” she says, feeling more confident and happy than she can remember since waking up from the coma. “Think you can give me a ride home?”

“More like we can give you a ride to our house; remember the promise I made to my baby brother. And really you’re in no shape to try and take care of yourself.”

Casey feels tremendous guilt. If it weren’t for her and her inaction Tommy wouldn’t even be in jail.

“Especially with the baby and all,” Brendan says before sitting in the chair closest to Casey.

Feeling like her body is suddenly filled with ice water she looks up at Brendan slowly, her eyes wide.

“What… baby?”

“Wait, you, you didn’t know? Damn Casey, we just assumed you knew, we thought you knew, you’re about four months along they figure from the ultrasounds,” Tess says sitting on the bedside and taking her hand.

“Is… is it ok?” She couldn’t think straight, after all that had happened how could it be ok? Her free hand goes to the now very noticeable bulge of her stomach. She’d been so wrapped up the past couple of days in trying to help Tommy that she hadn’t really noticed it.

“The baby is fine, I promise you.” Tess says reassuringly.

“Does Tommy know?”

“It wasn’t up to us to tell him and we figured he didn’t know because he hadn’t said anything about it. We haven’t said a word to him.” Brendan chuckles from the chair, “He’s going to be so damned excited.”

“Daddy watch your mouf,” Rosie calls to her father from the floor.

 

 

It takes exactly four months to get Tommy Conlon out of jail for the murder of Michael D’Argento. And not only had Casey successfully won Tommy his freedom but she’d taken down the corrupt cops in the local police department. She’d filed a civil suit against the department and was on track to win a hefty sum of money from them.

Casey looks in the mirror and smiles but it doesn’t reach her eyes. Everything has been gray since she lost the baby three months prior. It had been hard to tell Tommy; he’d only gotten used to the idea that he was going to be a father when it was taken away from him. He’d cried behind the thick Plexiglas; Tommy had wept inconsolably from the loss and she’d been unable to comfort him.

Straightening her shirt she can’t help but to look at her barren stomach; a wasteland in her mind. She felt like a failure that she’d been unable to carry his baby to term. It had looked like a baby, perfect in every way when they’d handed its stillborn form to her to hold one time before they took it away. The little boy had had Tommy’s mouth.

She wipes her eyes and turns from the mirror. Today her man was coming home and she worried if things could ever be the same. Because of her Tommy had been forced to take a life, because of her he’d lost six months of his freedom and will have to live with the stigma and notoriety of what he’s done. Because of her… she wondered how he could possibly love her anymore.

She’d told Tess and Brendan that she wanted to pick him up alone, feel him out and see where he was mentally before they planned any sort of get together. Casey had been to the jail three times a week to visit him; as much as was allowed, but it was always through the Plexiglas and they hadn’t so much as touched hands in over half a year. There had been plenty of I love you and I need you between them but there is doubt in Casey’s mind now. Surely Tommy will resent her on some level for what he had to do and with resentment comes anger and anger will be the downfall of their relationship.

And then there’s the matter of her losing the baby. How can he look at her and not see all the ways she failed him as a woman. Will he even want to touch her ever again? Why would he stay with someone who can’t make him a father and she doesn’t know if she’ll ever be able to do that.

Grabbing the keys off of the hall table she takes one last look in the mirror and heads out the door into the cold winter day.

 

The drive to the jail isn’t a long one and she waits outside a different entrance than before. Its fifteen minutes until Tommy is officially a free man and Casey chews her nails nervously. She watches the heavy steel door like a hawk and takes a sharp breath in when she finally sees activity. Out into the glaring sun steps the man she loves and he’s immense. He’d done nothing but work out since he’d been jailed and it shows. He’s probably 60 pounds heavier than he was at Sparta and it’s all lean muscle mass he’s added.

She hadn’t planned what she’d do but the minute she sees him Casey hops out of the car and runs up to the gate. She bounces like a kid, anxious to touch him, to feel him, to smell him. Once the last gate separating them is opened she jumps on him, grabbing on and peppering him with tear stained kisses.

His arms wrap around her and his mouth clashes with hers.

“Baby,” he says, his voice choked with emotion.

“Baby, baby, my baby,” she cries and hold him as tight as she can.


	14. Untouched

While Casey was sure that they would spend his first night home locked in a naked embrace, Tommy didn’t touch her sexually. He’d crawled into the bed beside Casey and pulled her close to him and she’d lain there in his arms all night as he’d shaken and cried in his sleep but he’d not made a move to have sex with her. Not that night and not for the entire month since he’d come home from jail. The only contact had been him holding her and the occasional chaste kiss, nothing else. Last night he hadn’t even come to bed; he’d slept on the couch. Or Casey assumed that he had since she discovers upon coming downstairs that he’s gone already and it’s only 5 in the morning.

Angry, frustrated and pissed, she slams the coffee pot urn on the counter and it shatters into a million shards of thin glass. She thinks it’s rather ironic and metaphorical considering it’s exactly how her heart feels. Except she doesn’t care enough to pick up the pieces; Tommy saved her but at what cost? He’s lost to her now and she dreads the full realization that Michael is still ruining their lives even though he’s dead and gone.

Getting dressed she heads out to her old house. The final walk through is today; she’s finally sold it and had planned to use the money to finance the wedding and to make some improvements on the Conlon house. But now as she drives over to say goodbye to her childhood home she wonders if selling it is the right thing.

“Too late now, Casey,” she mumbles to herself as she pulls up in front of the old homestead. She remembers the night she drunkenly stumbled to Tommy’s house with every intention of giving him a piece of her mind and instead gave him a piece of her ass. Who knew then what was to come whether good or bad.

She supposes that worse comes to worst she can get an apartment or use the money from the sale to buy a smaller place and put the rest in savings.

“Damn,” she says out loud. Is she already writing him off completely? But deep inside her mind she’d been preparing for this since before he got out. She knew losing the baby and then his memories of watching her get raped and then killing her rapist would eat away at him. He wasn’t a man who talked about how he was feeling and she couldn’t make him so what was there to do?

The workmen are already at the house even though it’s just now six. She’d agreed to let the new owners proceed with renovations because she’d been so sure at the time that Tommy was her forever. Casey breaks down behind the wheel and sobs, feeling so much loss that it takes her breath away.

Her phone rings and she doesn’t bother looking at it, it can only be Tommy or Susie and she can’t formulate a response at the moment. Her heart is heavy as she wipes her face clean of tears and smeared makeup. She takes one last look in the visor mirror before stepping out into the brisk morning air to say goodbye to a piece of her childhood.

Later, after all the paperwork is signed and Casey leaves the Attorneys office she notices that she has three missed calls on her phone; they’re all from Tommy. Frowning she checks but doesn’t have any voice mails from him. She puts her phone back in her purse and heads to the mall for some retail therapy.

Casey walks aimlessly around the shopping mecca; it’s mostly deserted since it’s a Monday and before lunchtime so she’s walks slowly as if in a daze. At one point she finds herself staring mindlessly at the food court water fountain and is unaware of how long she’s been standing there. She hasn’t bought a single thing at this point so she decides to head back to Tommy’s house. At this point she can’t even consider it home anymore because she’s not sure he wants her there now.

She hears her phone beeping to let her know she has more missed calls but she doesn’t look. If it’s not important enough for him to leave her a message then she doesn’t see the need to call him back. She drives the long way back to the Conlon house, taking her time, doing the speed limit and below, just thinking back to before that night when Michael succeeded in ruining everything.

It’s after four by the time Casey makes it back and she walks heavily up the concrete front steps and unlocks the front door. She has just enough time to put her purse on the hall table when she hears Tommy ask, “Where the fuck you been?”

She jumps and grabs at her chest, her heart pounding from the fear. He’s never home before six on days he goes to Colt’s to work and she wasn’t expecting him now for sure.

“I’ve been out, I went to the mall and drove around,” she says brusquely, not caring if he’s mad or not.

“Been to the mall, yeah? What did ya buy?” He asks coming forward out of the darkened corner of the living room he’d been sitting in.

“Nothing. I just walked around, I wasn’t in the mood to shop.”

“Don’t make much sense to me, I mean, why go to the mall if you ain’t in the mood to shop?”

“You got somewhere you’re going with this Tommy? Because I’m not in the fucking mood to beat around the bush…” Casey is starting to see red and it’s apparent in her tone.

“Yeah I got a point to make; I want to know where you’ve really been Casey.”

She’s never seen him like this, jealous to the point of not believing what she tells him. “I told you exactly where I’ve been. But what I want to know is why the fuck do you care?”

The gloves are off now and Casey takes her jacket off and throws it on the floor.

“What the fuck does that mean?” Tommy’s totally enraged now, his nostrils are flared and she can see only a small fraction of his squinted eyes. She hates this look and she gives it right back to him.

“What I mean Thomas, is you leave before I get up, you don’t come home until late at night, sometimes you reek of alcohol and you never, NEVER fucking touch me anymore. So why do you fucking care where I’ve been? And what right do you have to question me about a goddamned thing?”

Tommy charges towards her and takes her by the shoulders, “What right do I have? I’m your fucking fiancée; I’m the man who you claim to love…”

He releases her shoulders and turns, pulling the knit cap off of his head and tossing it near her jacket. His hair is sweaty and she knows he must have jogged from Colts, that’s why she didn’t see his car in front of the house.

“Casey, I’ve been afraid to touch you after…”

“Oh I see,” she sneers and swings at the air in frustration, “I got raped and now I’m damaged goods…”

“NO!” Tommy roars and turns back to face her, she’s shocked to see he’s crying openly. “I’m afraid to touch you ‘cause I don’t know how you could want me to. I failed, I couldn’t protect you from that fucker and he got to you because I was weak.”

Casey doesn’t know what to say. In all her conjecturing and overthinking she never stopped to consider that Tommy might be feeling some sort of guilt. Her mouth opens and closes but she can’t think of anything to say at first so she walks over to him and puts her hands on his shoulders. She cries with him and then releases everything she’s been feeling.

“Tommy, listen to me. I thought you didn’t want to touch me because I disgusted you and because you resented me for losing the baby. I thought you couldn’t bear to look at me because he… he was inside of me. I felt like you lost your love for me because I _failed you_.”

Tommy grabs at Casey and pulls her to him, “Baby, how could I resent you for what was out of your control? You didn’t ask for him to rape you and you didn’t ask to lose our kid. You fought for me when I was locked up and you got me out. Don’t think I don’t know everything you did because I do. Brendan and Tess kept me well informed.”

Tommy pushes her back gently to look at her face, “I thought you’d given up on me today. I left early so that I could get a run in and then I came back and found you gone. I don’t know why but I thought you were with someone else…”

Casey smiles up at him, “The only places I went today were to sign the final papers to sell the house and then to that damned shitty excuse of a mall. Tommy, there is no one else and there never will be. Just as long as you want me, baby, I’ll never look anywhere else. But I have to know you want me.”

Tommy pulls her close to him, so close that she feels his hard cock through both sets of their clothes.

“There ain’t been a moment since you came back into my life that I ain’t wanted you Casey,” he mutters into her hair before his lips crash into hers, “I crave you…”

It’s the last words spoken before he picks her up in his arms and carries her to the bed.

Later that night Casey and Tommy lay in bed facing each other, holding hands. Casey weeps soundlessly as she looks at his face. Jail seems to have aged him immeasurably even though his face looks the same. There’s an air of sadness that envelopes them both; Casey can feel it in her bones. There’s still a great, invisible expanse between them even though the sexless dry spell had been broken. Even the that had been different, it had felt almost mechanical and lacking the fire and passion that had always been between them before.

 _Maybe_ , Casey wonders silently, _there’s no coming back from what we’ve been through._

“Whatchu thinkin’ baby?” Tommy asks but sounds like he’s not sure that he really wants to know. Casey sighs deeply before answering, not certain if she should put sound to her thoughts but deciding that if they’re ever going to fix things then honesty and full disclosure is imperative.

“I was wondering if we can ever possibly get back to where we were before all this happened. I was also wondering if we shouldn’t put the wedding off for a while…”

“No,” Tommy says roughly, “I’m not waiting any longer to marry you. Unless…,” he hesitates, doubt clouding his mind to the point of taking his breath away, “unless you don’t wanna marry me anymore.”

“Tommy! Of course I want to marry you baby, that’s not going to change,” Casey says and the tears flow freely down her cheek and onto the pillow. “I just think maybe we should put some distance between the shit we have been through and one of the most important days of our lives. I don’t want to constantly associate the two.” Tommy sits up and presses his back against the headboard before pulling Casey to him and resting her head in his lap.

“When Manny got killed I didn’t think anything would ever be good again. I saw his face everywhere I looked. Every minute of the day I blamed myself for living while he was gone.”

Casey holds her breath. Tommy has never said anything about Manny, never opened up to her about anything regarding him other than to say that he missed him once or twice when he’d had a few beers. She’d been witness to more than a few nightmares that she suspected were flashbacks to the night he died but she never pried where Tommy’s brother in arms had been concerned. Looking up at him through her tears she waits for him to continue.

Tommy rubs his eyes and leans his head back against the wall, “I had so much anger, so much self-hatred that I wasn’t really alive anymore; I was existing but not living. Does that make sense? I mean that anger saw me through a lot but it was killing me from the inside out. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not gone completely and I don’t think it ever will be, but I’ve learned that I have to let it go or it’ll turn into a cancer that will eat me up. Finding you again and loving you has taught me that I don’t want to be that bitter sonofabitch anymore.”

Casey sits up and looks at Tommy, amazed at the things he’s said. For the first time since he’s come home she sees and feels a glimmer of hope. But Tommy’s not through and Casey doesn’t interrupt.

“Baby, Michael got what he had coming to him. I don’t regret ripping that mother fucker to shreds; I only regret that I couldn’t do it before he was able to hurt you more. You didn’t cause that, he did it to himself. Once he ceased to exist I put that in the past and you should do it too. He can’t hurt you anymore. Don’t give him power that he doesn’t deserve. Let’s get married, let’s make babies and let’s have a good life together.”

Casey can’t speak, she can only nod as Tommy pulls her into his embrace and kisses her.


End file.
